“Hello! This is Elaine Murphy calling for Rion. On the ninth, this Thursday, we were thinking of having a little get-together in the afternoon with snacks and friends. It’s Noa’s birthday but we won’t be having a party; he doesn’t like to celebrate. …Wha– Peter? Oh, right. Jesse, Danny, and Celeste will be coming over but those are our only other guests. Rion, please let us know if you can make it. Okay, talk to you soon. Bye!”

When the message ended, Rion played it again for the fifth time, listening to the familiar sound of Elaine Murphy’s voice. He hadn’t even set his backpack down since walking in. He was just staring at the answering machine, trying to process the words that were being repeated back again.

The ninth… That was tomorrow. That was Noa’s birthday.

They wanted to invite him over? Really?

Why?

Rion felt nothing and everything all at once. There was a hollowness in his chest that was sure to turn into a painful emotion eventually. Other feelings flitted by – disbelief, suspicion, hope – but they melted together into an incomprehensible mess.

Elaine Murphy was inviting him over for a get-together on Noa’s birthday.

It didn’t seem possible. Or logical. Was this some kind of trick? But who would want to trick him? Mrs. Murphy wasn’t like that. Was it Peter…? No. Peter didn’t want to be anywhere near him. It would make sense if it was Sarina, but it didn’t sound like she was involved.

What was this? What was going on?

“–talk to you soon. Bye!”

Rion half raised his hand to play the message again but stopped himself. His hand hovered over the answering machine for a long moment before he made himself take a step back, dropping his arm down to his side.

Later. He could listen to it again later. He needed to clear his head.

Rion tried to stay focused as he went to the couch and dropped his backpack on the seat. But then he stood there, mind too busy and full of thoughts. He scrubbed his face, trying to decide if he should make himself coffee or take a shower or…

There was a ring at the doorbell.

Immediately, Rion felt a thrill of anxiety pass through him. Who was at the door? Not Mrs. Murphy, right? She couldn’t have come…

The curtains were pulled back in the living room. He could see the front lawn from here. Rion realized that he needed to get away, out of sight, just in case someone peeked in.

Rion darted for the front door, trying to move soundlessly. As the doorbell rang again, he looked through the peephole to see who was there.

It was Danny and Jesse.

Rion felt mildly relieved. Still… Danny was okay, but Rion hadn’t seen Jesse in ages.

If either one of them looked into the living room window before ringing the doorbell they might have seen him. It was better to open the door and deal with them directly. Maybe he could turn them away or…or something. Rion wasn’t sure. He couldn’t think.

Rion unlocked the deadbolt and pulled the door open. Danny was all smiles and waves. Jesse tried to mimic him, but his expression froze when he met Rion’s gaze.

Rion smiled but he knew it was stretched awkwardly on his face. He probably looked fake and plastic. He couldn’t manage anything convincing right now.

“Hey,” he said. “This is kind of…unexpected. I Just got back from school and, um…”

“Oh, sorry,” Danny said, eyebrows raising. “Were you there late? It’s almost six.”

Rion blinked. Almost six? Really? Had he lost track of time? He knew he came home a bit late, but he didn’t think…

“Ah…yeah,” Rion said. “I’ve been busy. You know how it is. Um… Hi, Jesse.”

“Hey,” Jesse said. He was staring at him too much. “Is your eye okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s nothing,” Rion said, fidgeting with the doorknob. “You guys, uh… You wanna come in?”

“Sure, if it’s okay,” Danny said.

Rion waved them inside. He wasn’t sure he wanted them around, especially Jesse, but it would be much worse if someone saw them on his doorstep. Danny and Jesse came inside, taking off their shoes and Rion stepped back.

“Should I make coffee or something?” Rion asked, even though he would prefer them gone.

It was like he had some inner demon of small-town hospitality insisting that he welcome Danny and Jesse into the house. He felt stupid for bringing them in and trying to make them comfortable when he didn’t even want them around.

“Nah, water’s fine for me,” Danny said. “Jesse?”

“I’m good,” Jesse said.

“Okay. Cool,” Rion replied.

He headed back into the living room, taking his backpack off the couch. He plunked it down off to the side before heading to the kitchen and getting water for Danny. When he came back, he found Danny waiting for him and Jesse looking around, eyes drinking everything in, especially the consoles.

Was that why they were here? And why there were two of them? Did they want to pretend to be his friends to have access to his games?

That was fine. That was perfect, actually. Rion could live with that.

“It’s okay if we stay for a minute, right?” Danny said as Rion gave him his water. “We can go right away but there were just a couple things we wanted to talk about.”

“It’s fine,” Rion said out of obligatory politeness. “It’s a bit unexpected, but…uh… I don’t have anything going on, so…”

“Right, well… Mrs. Murphy said she was going to call but I wanted to talk to you about it personally,” Danny said. “Noa’s having a little get-together on his birthday. He wanted to invite you.”

Rion stared at him, his brain fighting to catch up with Danny’s words.

Noa wanted to invite him? Noa specifically? Not just the Murphys?

“I… Okay,” Rion said, somehow managing to get his voice to work. “Noa invited me?”

“Yeah,” Danny said. “We talked to him. I think he really wants you there, so…we’d all really like it if you could come.”

“I…I don’t know…” Rion said, swallowing hard. “It’s kind of sudden. That’s tomorrow. I don’t have a birthday present…”

“Noa doesn’t want to celebrate his birthday,” Jesse said.

“Yeah…” Danny said, his smile turning awkward. “It’s probably because, you know… Amber’s anniversary is on the fourth and then his birthday is on the ninth… It’s too close together.”

Rion knew all too well.

The year Amber died, Noa’s birthday had come and passed without anyone noticing. Everyone had been grieving. He was sure they gave Noa presents at some point, but Rion knew that Noa was indifferent at the time.

Rion would have been the same if his birthday was that close to the anniversary of Amber’s death. Not that it really mattered, especially now. His father would pile gifts on him, but he was never there when Rion opened them. It was a hollow, meaningless thing, with no real reason to celebrate.

Rion let Halloween take priority over his birthday. It made for a nice distraction. Most people forgot it was his birthday anyway, too busy dressing in costumes and hunting for candy.

“It would feel weird to not get him anything, though,” Rion said. “I don’t know… It’s probably a bad idea.”

“No, no! You should come!” Danny said. “Don’t worry about bringing anything. Really! Just come say hi. He really misses you!”

Rion wanted to believe that. He wanted to see Noa again too. The thought alone made his heart squeeze tightly in his chest. If he thought about it too hard, he was scared he would cry.

Still, he could only see it ending badly.

“I don’t know, Danny,” Rion sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands, avoiding his bruised eye. “If Sarina’s there…”

“She’s not,” Danny said. “Peter told his parents not to invite her.”

“But if she finds out…” Rion tried again.

“Doesn’t matter,” Danny said, shaking his head. “I plan on talking to Sarina. I’m going to sort things out with her, okay? I’m your friend. It’s the least I can do.”

Rion let out a huff of humourless laughter. “I don’t think talking to her will do anything.”

“Is it really that bad?”

Jesse was looking at him, frowning.

Rion had only ever admitted it to Noa, but he’d always kind of looked up to Jesse. He was a nice guy, dependable, and older than them. Jesse was the kind of person you could count on, the kind of person you wanted to be friends with.

The whole thing with the friendship bracelet…the way Jesse had looked at him then…Rion had thought there was no going back. But the Jesse in his living room was a different person, someone more mature, an adult. He wasn’t looking at him the same way he had six years ago. He seemed almost…worried about him?

No, Rion had to be mistaken. That couldn’t be right.

“Is what ‘that bad’?” Rion asked.

“Sarina, obviously,” Danny said.

“She…she gave you that black eye?” Jesse asked, his frown deepening. “Danny said something about that.”

“We got into a fight,” Rion said, turning away, unable to meet their gaze. “Listen, don’t worry about it. I’m the asshole picking fights with a girl anyway. She hit me. So what? Big deal.”

“It looks like a big deal,” Jesse said. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rion said stiffly.

Jesse hesitated. From the corner of his eye, Rion saw Danny give Jesse a bump with his elbow. Rion wondered what they were up to.

“I… Shit…” Jesse grumbled, fumbling with his words. “Listen, um… I have some things to say, and… Well, first of all…”

Jesse paused to flash a look at Danny who smiled back innocently. Then he turned back to Rion.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you and Sarina. I’ve heard things and I don’t like the sound of it. If she did give you a black eye, that’s not okay. Also…kind of paired with that, um… About the friendship bracelet thing… I just wanted to say that when that happened, I… It was a shock. And I judged you pretty harshly at the time, and…I want to apologize.”

Rion stared at him before saying, “You what?”

“I want to apologize,” Jesse said, more earnestly. “A lot was going on at the time and we were all dumb kids. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did and cut you out of my life. I was all caught up in myself and I just… I was a dick. I’m sorry.”

“You… Oh no, Jesse, it’s fine,” Rion said quickly, trying to ignore the strange new tightness in his chest. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t worry about it.”

“No, I am going to worry about it,” Jesse said. “I didn’t hear you out. I judged you… It was the wrong thing to do. I’m sure you had your own reasons for wrecking your bracelet, and… What you went through was different from the rest of us. You were there when…Amber…”

Jesse was getting choked up. Rion could tell. And it made him feel awful.

This was his fault.

“Jesse, stop,” Rion said. “Don’t apologize. Because I’m not going to. Okay?”

Refusing to apologize was probably the worst thing Rion thought he could do, considering he had so much to be sorry for. Rion hoped that would hurt Jesse’s feelings, just a little, just enough to make him turn on Rion again. Then maybe things would go back to normal. Anything to escape Jesse’s pity and apologies that came from who knew where.

Jesse looked confused for half a second, but then he smiled. Danny did too.

“Okay. Okay, deal,” Jesse said. “Yeah, let’s… We can start over and put that behind us.”

“That’s a great idea,” Danny said, grinning. “What’s done is done! No apologies needed.”

Rion stared at them both for a long moment as he realized what went wrong. Then he sighed, running a hand through his hair, ruffling his shaggy dark locks.

He’d screwed up again – the story of his life. They interpreted the statement as one of comradery instead of realizing that Rion was trying to push them away. He must have phrased things wrong or…

Fuck.

“That… Fine, whatever,” Rion said. He didn’t have the heart to correct them. “Listen, it’s nice that you came over and everything, but you should get going. I have stuff to do, and–”

“You’re coming to hang out tomorrow, right?” Danny said. “Since things are good and you’re making peace with Jesse now?”

“What? No, I… I still think it’s a bad idea,” Rion said. “Even if Noa wants me there, Peter is a different story.”

“Leave Peter to us. He’s already half-convinced anyway since he’s okay with you coming over,” Danny said. “Come on, Rion. Please? You won’t turn Noa down like that, will you? I think he’s really looking forward to seeing you again.”

Rion wanted to tell them to leave. He didn’t want to be part of this conversation anymore. He was done with it. Especially since he couldn’t trust that what Danny said was true, that Noa actually wanted him there.

But then it occurred to him.

Noa. He would be able to see Noa again, in person. Even better – Rion might have a chance to be alone with Noa. And if he was alone with Noa…

The loose end, the one that had been bothering Rion for years… He could fix it. He could make that one thing right. If he could talk to Noa alone, even for just a handful of seconds…

The friendship bracelet. Rion could give it to Noa.

“Noa really wants me there…?” Rion asked, trying to sound hesitant. He didn’t want to pull a one-eighty and seem suspicious.

“Yeah!” Danny said. “He really wants you there, Rion. Please come. We want you there too.”

“I don’t even think Peter will mind,” Jesse said. “It would be…it would be good to hang out with you again. Like we all used to. Remember the lake?”

Rion didn’t want to remember the lake. He didn’t want to remember at all. Things had been so perfect back then, but the happy memories brought on terrible nightmares now. He couldn’t think of the lake without thinking of that night, without hearing the roar of flames, without feeling the scalding heat all around him, the harsh smoke on every breath…

No. Not the lake. He didn’t want to remember.

“I… Okay,” Rion said weakly. He was sure his hands were shaking. He clenched them into fists. He needed to keep it together. He needed to pretend he was fine and normal. “Okay, I’ll go to the Murphys’ tomorrow. I… I’m going to need to get ready, though… I have lots to do.”

“Yeah! Sure!” Danny said, finishing his water and raising his glass to Rion with a grin. “Don’t worry! It will be fun!”