After his talk with Danny, Jesse hadn’t had a chance to do much. He’d gone home, spent his evening lost in thought, and gone to work again the next morning. He was still mulling things over, thinking about it through his shift that day.

Danny was right. There was something strange going on with Rion. He’d always been a well-mannered, sentimental kid. He kept to himself after his mother passed away. It wasn’t until Noa moved in with the Murphys that Rion made friends with him and came out of his shell.

Rion was a completely different person now. It wasn’t without cause, but it still didn’t make any sense when Jesse thought about it.

When Amber died, Noa and Rion were there. It had deeply affected them. Noa’s breakdown was completely understandable, no matter how sad and painful it was to see. But Rion had become cold and closed off. Jesse wasn’t sure he’d even seen him cry.

Then again, Jesse had been in agony. His memories of that year were overshadowed by the loss of Amber. He’d spiralled hard. It had been enough to make his parents get involved.

Therapy had kept him together. It got easier from there. Time helped dull the pain. Jesse found reasons to be happy again. He would have given anything to have Amber back, but he found ways to live with her absence.

None of that explained what happened to Rion.

Jesse was forced to set the thought aside as he pulled up in front of his house, parking in the driveway. He didn’t plan on going home though. His destination was the house next door – the Murphys'. He saw their house every day, but it had been years since he’d set foot inside.

He’d been asked to come over for supper today, along with Danny. Mrs. Murphy wanted them to speak with Noa again and see if they could get him talking. It worked once so the Murphys wanted to try again.

Danny was walking down the sidewalk as Jesse got out of the car. Danny waved and Jesse waved back.

“Hey!” Danny greeted him. “How’s it going?”

“Not bad,” Jesse replied, joining him. “How about you?”

“Kind of excited,” Danny said with a smile. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been over to visit the Murphys. Like, just for fun. I think the last time was a sleepover I had with Rion and Noa, and I was like…thirteen?”

“Might as well be a lifetime ago,” Jesse said as they headed up the walkway together.

“Tell me about it,” Danny said, grinning. “Did you ever sleep over?”

“What? With Amber? Are you crazy?” Jesse said, his eyebrows going up. “I don’t think her dad would’ve let that fly unless he spent the night sleeping between us. No way. He didn’t even like it when we hung out in Amber’s room. The door had to be open at all times.”

“Ah ha ha! I guess that’s a fair point!” Danny laughed. “I wasn’t thinking of it that way.”

Jesse forced out a breath, shaking his head. Of course Danny wouldn’t have thought about it like that. To him, Amber was a friend. To Jesse, she’d been a lot more than that. She’d been his everything. Her dad had been right to worry, too.

Jesse and Amber weren’t dumb enough to try anything with parents around. Or with anyone being around; small towns spread gossip like wildfire. Amber and Jesse had found ways around their parents and had stolen a lot more than innocent kisses. But their teenage secrets back then were still Jesse’s secrets now.

Danny rang the doorbell and they barely waited before Peter opened it. His hair was damp and he looked like he’d come out of the shower minutes ago. He gave them both a smile.

“Hey,” Peter said. “Nice to see you again. Fair warning – Noa’s in a mood.”

“A mood?” Danny said as they stepped inside. “And yeah, it’s really great to see you too.”

Abruptly, he pulled Peter into a hug. Peter let out a surprised laugh but hugged him back.

“You really haven’t changed,” Peter said as he pulled away and turned to Jesse. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Same here,” Jesse said, holding out a hand. Peter took it and they shook. “Do I smell spaghetti?”

“And garlic toast,” Peter said. “Mom could never forget Danny’s favourite. My parents are just in the kitchen, putting everything on the table. Noa’s in the living room. He’s been…uh…drawing all morning.”

“Oh, he still draws?” Danny said as he inhaled deeply. He was trying to downplay his interest in supper, but the smile on his face said it all. “Awesome! Noa used to be so good at art.”

“He still is. Really impressive, actually,” Peter said.

Peter hesitated. His brows knit and it looked like he wanted to say more. But Danny and Jesse had taken off their shoes and Danny went bounding off into the living room to see Noa.

“Is something wrong?” Jesse asked.

“I… Kind of,” Peter said. “Don’t worry about it. It’s ongoing stuff. Let’s catch up to Danny.”

The living room was how Jesse remembered it, though the TV had been updated since he’d last come to visit. The furniture was mostly the same, though the couch had been replaced. The family photos were still up on the wall, with some additions like Peter’s grad photo.

Jesse couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his chest, knowing that Amber would never have a grad picture to display. There were a couple of her up, one with the family and Noa and the other one from…was it their tenth-grade school pictures?

Jesse tore his eyes away and focused on Noa, who was sitting on the couch.

Noa’s legs were up and he had his sketchbook propped up on his knees. He was frowning and scribbling away, intense and focused.

“Hey, Noa!” Danny said. “Hi!”

Noa didn’t look up. If anything, he curled in further on his drawing.

“I think he’s busy…” Peter said, coming up behind them. “Noa doesn’t like being interrupted when he’s in the middle of a sketch.”

“Oh. Okay. That’s cool,” Danny said without missing a beat. “Oh man! It smells so good in here!”

The whole room smelled of spaghetti sauce and garlic toast. Jesse had to admit that it was mouth watering. Maybe he would have to ask for their recipe…

“We should go to the kitchen,” Peter said. “Mom and Dad are going to want to say hi.”

“Yeah,” Danny said, looking around. “Man, this brings me back, though. Feels like ages since I’ve been over.”

Noa stood abruptly and viciously tore out the page he’d been working on. Jesse and Danny both jumped, startled. Only Peter was unphased.

“Whoa, careful. You might tear your drawing…” Danny began but stopped when Noa fixed him with a hard stare, holding the paper out for him. “Uh…is that for me?”

Noa nodded.

“Oh! Thanks!” Danny said, a little bewildered as he accepted it, turning the page around while he was talking. “You didn’t have to– Oh, fuck!”

Danny floundered, flailing his arms and stumbling back, losing the paper in the process. Jesse lunged forward and managed to catch it.

On the page, rearing up threateningly, Noa had drawn a massive, angry tarantula. Even Jesse almost dropped the drawing himself, startled at the sight. The tarantula was detailed, life-like, and well shaded, poised to spring right off the sheet and scuttled around on hairy legs.

“Holy–! Argh! My heart!” Danny sputtered, trying to get himself together.

Peter leaned over to see what was on the paper and then winced.

“I told you he was in a mood,” he said.

“It’s…a pretty intense drawing,” Jesse said. He glanced up at Noa who was watching him with an unblinking stare. “This is really good, Noa. It’s…it’s impressive.”

Noa huffed and headed for the kitchen. Jesse stood there, staring after him.

Was Noa…trying to upset them?

“Why’d he have to draw nightmare fuel…” Danny moaned, shuddering.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked him.

“I’ll be fine,” Danny said. “Just had the pants scared off me. Holy crap.”

“His art is really good though,” Jesse said, glancing down. Now that the shock of it was wearing off, he could appreciate the sketch a lot more. “This… Yeah, it looks professional.”

“He draws every day,” Peter said. “When he’s in a mood like today, his art gets aggressive. I woke up with a picture of a snarling wolf tucked under my bedroom door this morning.”

“I’d like to see that,” Danny puffed out. “Not that spider one, though… Urgh… Literally felt my heart jump and bang around in my chest, man. I think it’s bruised.”

“Boys?” came Mrs. Murphy’s voice. She came and peeked into the living room from the kitchen. “Is everything okay?”

“Danny was just startled by Noa’s art,” Jesse said, raising the picture to show her.

“Oh, that… I’m so sorry, Danny,” she said. “Noa–”

“It’s fine!” Danny said quickly, his smile returning though it wavered. “I’m good. And it’s great to see you! Peter says you made spaghetti?”

They ended up making their way into the kitchen, which also served as the dining room. Noa had already taken his seat at the table. Everything was laid out, food ready and steaming. The Murphys all exchanged greetings with Danny and Jesse and then they sat down, saying grace before passing the food around.

“It’s too bad that Travis couldn’t make it,” Mr. Murphy said. “He said he had plans to job hunt today…”

“He’ll be sorry when he finds out what we had for supper,” Danny said, going for the garlic toast and wolfing down a slice.

“That’s right,” Jesse agreed. He hid a smile at Danny’s enthusiasm. “It was really nice of you to invite us over. Thanks again.”

“It’s fine,” Mrs. Murphy said, all smiles as she put some spaghetti on Noa’s plate. He hadn’t touched anything yet and he was currently giving the noodles a death stare. “Danny’s back in town and he used to come over all the time. You all used to be so close. It seemed like a good idea.”

“Well, I’m really happy to be invited!” Danny said, grabbing more garlic toast and eyeing the spaghetti despite his plate still being full. “It’s great to be back too! The city was fine, but it was a little overwhelming, you know? There’s so many people and you don’t even know your own neighbours.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” said Peter. “I’d like to move to the city eventually. Or a city.”

“Oh, yeah. You’re going to university now, right?” Danny asked. “How’s the drive there and back?”

Jesse couldn’t help but watch as Mrs. Murphy made sure to put a little of everything on Noa’s plate. He didn’t look like he wanted to touch any of it. He was glowering at the food.

“Not hungry?” Jesse asked him.

Noa’s gaze flicked up to him, then back down. He picked up his fork and then began to pick at what was on his plate, pushing it around. Jesse realized that Mrs. Murphy was keeping an eye on him too.

They kept chatting about this and that. Jesse couldn’t help but be aware of Noa.

Noa had always been quiet. Jesse remembered that even before Amber died, Noa had been closed off. He wasn’t very expressive, and he didn’t say much. Amber told Jesse that it probably had something to do with his parents and how he was brought up.

Everyone in town knew that story.

Still, it was hard to think of Noa being this closed off in his own house, barely eating anything, drawing pictures of spiders to scare Danny. When they were young and Jesse visited, Noa had been a lot more open and he’d wolf down every meal like it was his last. He could even remember one or two times when Noa had dragged him by the arm with an excited “Jesse! Jesse! Jesse!” to show him something he thought was cool.

The current Noa was just…sad.

“So,” Danny was saying, “I was thinking that it was kind of funny that you invited me over. Because just the other day Rion invited me over.”

“He did?” Peter said.

“Yeah, on Sunday. After church,” Danny told him. “I asked to hang out and he said we could go to his place. He had snacks and everything! Did you know he has, like, every console? Oh, you’d love it, Peter.”

Peter was subdued when talking about Rion, but he perked up at the mention of video games. Danny had Noa’s undivided attention too.

“Every console?” Peter said.

“Well, the only old ones I saw were the N64 and the PS1. But I think he’s got it all,” Danny said. “He has all the new stuff for sure – Xbox, PS2, and GameCube! He has a bunch of computer games too! He was showing me all this stuff. It was so cool! We had a great time! Went through, like, three bags of chips and a couple things of dip…”

Danny let out a slightly embarrassed laugh.

“I’m jealous,” Peter said, and it looked hard for him to admit. “We only have the GameCube.”

“Consoles are expensive. Same with the games,” Mr. Murphy told him. “If you want more than what we have, you’ll have to buy them yourself.”

“I know,” Peter groaned. “It’s just that different systems have different exclusives. And games are fun. Even Mom agrees. Right? I know you have an Animal Crossing addiction.”

“It’s a fun game,” Mrs. Murphy admitted with a smile. “I like collecting everything.”

“Rion’s really into Animal Crossing,” Danny said with a grin. “He’s got all this cool stuff in the game, like things I didn’t even know you could get.”

“How is Rion?”

The question came from Noa. Everyone turned to him. Jesse noticed how the Murphys all perked up at the sound of Noa’s voice, completely attentive.

“He’s…managing, I guess,” Danny began. “I want to say that he’s doing good, but… I’m not sure that’s true. I don’t think he’s hanging out with anyone and his dad isn’t around…”

Noa dropped his fork (with the mass of spaghetti he’d curled around the end) onto his plate and leaned forward.

“He’s all alone?” Noa asked.

“I think so,” Danny said. “He was at church by himself. He came to nine o’clock mass – the same as us. So I asked if we could hang out and he offered to have me over. He said his dad works a lot and…and I know he’s having problems with Sarina…”

“He goes to nine o’clock mass?” Noa asked, his expression intense.

“Yeah,” Danny said. “Actually, I was going to have him over some time. Rion and I are friends, so I want to hang out with him more.”

Noa was silent, thoughtful. He picked up his fork again, giving his spaghetti knot a few more turns in place. His aunt and uncle exchanged a look.

“Do you want to see Rion too?” Jesse spoke up. “Maybe we could all hang out together?”

Noa frowned and after a long hesitation said, “He might not want to.”

“Why not?” Danny asked.

Noa was silent but Peter spoke up on his behalf.

“Because Rion hasn’t been here since the funeral,” he said. “No phone call, no nothing. He dropped Noa like a hot rock–”

“Peter!” his mother hissed.

“What? That’s what happened,” Peter said. “Why wouldn’t Noa have his doubts? I know I do. What kind of guy abandons his best friend when he needs him the most? It’s so…”

Peter didn’t seem to have the words for it. His expression was bitter, angry, frustrated.

Jesse understood. He remembered how cold Rion had been, how he had instantly changed. And it must have been hard for Peter who was living with Noa and saw him break down. It can’t have been easy. For Rion to cut off contact for so long…

“It’s okay,” Noa said.

“What?” Peter said, turning to Noa sharply, taken aback.

“It’s okay if he doesn’t like me anymore,” Noa said.

“Why?” Peter said. “You haven’t done anything. Rion’s the one–”

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Noa said, his voice raising sharply. His shoulders were tense, and he scrunched his eyes shut tight, clenching his hands into fists on the tabletop, knuckles quickly turning white. “Rion didn’t do anything wrong. Never. And if he did, I forgive him. So, it doesn’t matter.”

Peter opened his mouth, closed it, and deflated, turning back to his plate. Now he was the one frowning down at his spaghetti. The atmosphere at the table was heavy and awkward.

“Um…” Danny began, looking around for some way to salvage things.

“I have an idea,” Mrs. Murphy spoke up. She seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “Noa…it’s your birthday on the ninth…”

Noa opened his eyes a crack, staring down at his plate. He let out a breath that could only be described as pained.

“I know you don’t like to celebrate it,” Mrs. Murphy was quick to say. “But why don’t we arrange a little get-together? We don’t have to call it a birthday party. We could invite Rion over and maybe Celeste and Sarina–”

“Not Sarina,” Peter said quickly. “You can’t invite her if you invite Rion. Things would get ugly.”

“Okay. Well, we could invite some of your old friends, Noa,” Mrs. Murphy tried again. “Danny and Jesse would come too, obviously. We don’t need to have presents or cake... You can just spend some time with them.”

“I’d be down,” Jesse said at once.

“Yeah, me too,” Danny was quick to add. “That sounds like a great idea.”

Noa’s lips were pressed into a thin line. Jesse didn’t think he’d accept–

“You’ll invite Rion?” Noa asked.

Mr. Murphy was the one to nod and say, “We’ll invite whoever you want.”

Noa turned to Danny. “You’re still friends with Rion?”

“Yeah,” Danny said, flashing him a bright smile. “I was just talking to Rion about it the other day. We’re totally friends.”

“Okay,” Noa said, looking back down at his plate. “But it’s not a birthday party.”

“Right,” Mrs. Murphy readily agreed. “It’s not a birthday thing at all. It’s just a little get-together with friends.”

“We can get snacks,” Mr. Murphy said. “Chips and some meat and veggie platters. Drinks too – pop or whatever you want.”

“It’s too bad that Noa and Rion aren’t a bit older,” Danny said. “Otherwise, I could bring beer or cider or something. You’re turning seventeen, right Noa? You were always the youngest…”

“That’s right,” Mrs. Murphy said. “So no alcohol for Noa.”

“Just a couple more years. So close!” Danny laughed.

“It’s fine. We’ll have fun without drinks,” Jesse said.

“Yeah, of course!” Danny agreed. “We’ll have a great time. And Mrs. Murphy? Let me know if Rion turns down the invitation. I’ll talk to him.”

Jesse turned to Noa to see how he was taking things. He was still staring at his plate and had given up entirely on eating. There was something distant in his gaze as it lingered on his pasta. He looked completely zoned out.

“Noa?” Jesse said. “You good?”

Noa glanced in his direction briefly before looking back down. That seemed like the only acknowledgement Jesse was going to get.