“You’re going to the city this weekend, right?” Amber asked.

Celeste finished tying another knot on the friendship bracelet she was working on. It wasn’t for anyone in particular, just a cool pattern she wanted to try out for herself. She and Amber had picked up some books at the library and found more bracelets patterns, so they’d gone wild this week.

Amber was next to her on Celeste’s bed, fiddling with the string of the bracelet she was working on. She was almost done. Amber was so good at them now that Celeste was sure she could do just about any kind of bracelet without looking at a pattern.

“We were going to go tomorrow,” Celeste said. “Mom wants to get some new clothes for winter. Sophie needs new ski pants. Did you want to come?”

“Yes!” Amber said, dropping her bracelet to clasp her hands together. “Please, Celeste! There’s something I really want to do without my family! When we go anywhere, the only time Mom and Dad aren’t hovering around is when I have to watch Peter and Noa.”

“Okay,” Celeste said with a little laugh at Amber’s enthusiasm. “Mom won’t mind. What do you want to do? Is it a secret Jesse date or something?”

Amber was immediately bashful and Celeste grinned, sure she was right.

“I don’t want you to freak out,” Amber said, “but I want to get a pregnancy test.”

Celeste’s grin fell and her eyes went round.

“Amber, are you–?!”

“It’s just in case!” Amber said quickly, holding up her hands. “It’s just to be safe!”

That didn’t make Celeste any more relaxed. She felt an anxious spike in her chest and had to set her bracelet aside, her thoughts running wild.

Celeste knew that Amber and Jesse were sneaking around doing…stuff. Amber didn’t give her details, but she’d told Celeste that she’d started having sex with Jesse. Celeste had been worried, but Amber reassured her.

Jesse was being very sneaky about getting condoms. They were careful about everything and planning as best they could. And they wanted to get married so, really, was it that big of a deal if they held off until they were done school?

Celeste kept it a secret, guarded it close to her heart. Because Amber was her best friend and she was so in love with Jesse. And Jesse loved Amber back. There wasn’t anything wrong with it.

But still…a pregnancy test?

“You’re sure you’re not pregnant?” Celeste asked.

“After Jesse, you’d be the next to know, I promise,” Amber said. “I’m serious. Cross my heart. I swear to God. I wouldn’t tell you like that either.”

“That’s good,” Celeste said, relaxing a little. But only a little. “You really scared me… I thought I was about to be a godmother or something.”

Amber let out a small laugh. “Sorry about that. I didn’t want to beat around the bush. How else was I supposed to ask?”

“I don’t know,” Celeste admitted, worrying her lip briefly. “What made you want a pregnancy test? Did something happen?”

“I missed my period in May and it didn’t start until the beginning of June,” Amber said. “It was kind of scary, you know? I mean, I’d be happy to have a baby but all of a sudden I was just worried about ten million things. Like, would Jesse and I have the wedding right away? And how would we look after a baby and go to school? Jesse and I hadn’t even gone over baby names yet! I was freaking out for like a whole month. It was…a lot.”

“I’ll say,” Celeste said. “I would probably have a heart attack.”

Celeste wasn’t really worried about herself. She didn’t have a boyfriend or anything close to something like that so it wasn’t even something that could happen. But Amber getting pregnant? That was terrifying.

“That’s how I felt,” Amber said. “I was sooo relieved when I started my period again. Which is a funny thing to be relieved about – I felt like garbage that week. But then I started thinking about it. I want to be ready if it happens again, you know? I want to know if I have to start breaking the news to everyone. I mean…like…”

She paused and then shuffled closer to Celeste. She turned to her fully, lowering her voice.

“I used to think about it like, ‘Oh, if it happens, it happens! I’d be happy to have a kid with Jesse!’ But then the reality of it hit me, you know?” Amber said, eyes going big. “Like, being a mom. Isn’t that a crazy thought? It’s not the same as being a big sister and making sure Peter or Noa don’t get into trouble. It’s like…a tiny, little baby… You know what I mean? And for a second, I was so scared, even though I want kids someday. It was realall of a sudden. Does that make sense?”

“Absolutely,” Celeste said, leaning in too. Trying to put herself in Amber’s shoes, she could easily imagine how that would feel. “That makes total sense. That’s such a huge responsibility. And your parents…”

“Yeah,” Amber said. “They’d freak out. I mean, I think they’d be okay with it eventually and they love Jesse, but… I’d probably be grounded or something. I don’t even know! What do parents normally do when their teenage daughter gets pregnant? Is that even normal?”

“What if they wouldn’t let you see Jesse?”

Amber thought about it and then shook her head. “They like him too much. And our parents are friends. I think it would work out, but they’d lose it for sure.”

“I feel like they’d want you to wait to get married,” Celeste said. “Marriage is a big deal.”

“Having a baby is a big deal,” Amber said. “Why wait if Jesse and I are already having a kid together? We might as well make everything official. Jesse and I would be fine with it. We talk about getting married all the time.”

Celeste knew that much. Amber had been talking to her about wedding stuff since she started dating Jesse. A couple years ago, it seemed so far away. It was harmless fun – a cute thing to imagine. Talking about cakes and wedding dresses was the same as knights and princesses when they were fourteen. It was all fantasy.

Thinking about it now made it so much more real.

“It seems too fast,” Celeste said, trying to imagine feeling that way about a boy. “And… I don’t know, Amber. It’s a lot to think about. You’d need the dress and both your families and…”

“I know,” Amber said, leaning back. Then she smiled brightly. “And it’s not like it’s actually happening. But you see what I mean? I just want to get a pregnancy test so that I can know if I have to freak out or not if I miss my period again.”

“But where will you keep it?” Celeste said. “You don’t want your parents finding it accidentally.”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Amber said. “I’ll keep it with my diary.”

Celeste was probably the only person other than Jesse who knew where Amber kept her diary. It was underneath the bottom drawer of her dresser. You had to pull out the drawer completely to get to it. She wrote her diary in a binder, having been inspired by Rion’s scrapbook, so she needed a spot where it wouldn’t easily be found.

“I guess that would be safe…” Celeste said. “But still. You basically have two younger brothers. You need to be careful when you’re hiding it or taking it out.”

“Peter won’t notice anything,” Amber snorted. “When his nose isn’t stuck in a book, he’s glued to a video game or running around with his friends. And Noa’s very polite. Even if he saw, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t say anything. The two of us have already shared some secrets.”

“You have?” Celeste said.

“Yeah,” Amber said. She hesitated, glancing off to the side but then leaned in again, lowering her voice back down. “You can’t tell anyone because he’ll get super embarrassed, but Noa really likes it when I sing to him.”

“Like a lullaby?” Celeste asked.

Amber grinned and nodded. “He’s such a kid sometimes. He’s not like Peter, who’s always been a little monster. Noa’s got this lovey, soft side to him. It’s super cute.”

“I thought you were complaining how stubborn he was last week,” Celeste said.

“Hey, I didn’t say he was perfect,” Amber said. “Noa can be a total gremlin when he’s in one of his moods. He’s pretty calm most of the time…”

She trailed off, her smile fading.

“What is it?” Celeste asked.

“Oh… I don’t know,” Amber said, reaching down to pick at a loose thread on the bottom hem of her shirt. “I guess… I’m kind of worried about Noa.”

“Why? Did something happen?”

“Sort of…”

Celeste expected more but Amber fell silent. It worried Celeste. She wondered if it was something serious. Amber told her pretty much everything.

“Can you…not talk about it?” Celeste asked.

“It’s not that,” Amber sighed. “Some things have been happening, and… I want to tell you all about it, but I want to talk to Noa first. Does that make sense?”

“Is he in trouble?”

“…I’m not sure,” Amber said. And then Celeste knew for sure it was serious. “I’m going to talk to him. I just need to figure out the right time and place and work up to it. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Okay…” Celeste said.

They both fell silent but not for long.

“So…I can come to the city with you? And get a pregnancy test?” Amber asked.

“Yeah. It should be fine,” Celeste said. “I’m sure I could get my parents to drop us off at the mall and we could go to a drug store and pick something up. Um… We just need to make sure to hide it.”

“I’ve been saving up my allowance,” Amber said. “I’m not sure how much pregnancy tests cost, but I’m pretty sure I have more than enough. I was thinking maybe we could pick up some other stuff like snacks and then we’d have shopping bags.”

“I guess that would work.”

“I’m going to bring my biggest purse too. Then I can put it in there and hide it.”

“You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you?” Celeste said with a small laugh.

“I had all of May to lose my mind and I’ve been planning since then,” Amber said with a grin. “I’m super ready!”

“Okay,” Celeste said. “Be ready for tomorrow then. And, you know, I can’t promise that my family won’t be annoying and hang around.”

“If it doesn’t work out, we can try again next time,” Amber said. “It’s not a rush or anything.”