Peter was unsatisfied and drained as they left Noa’s room and headed down the hall to see Rion.

He didn’t understand. He was frustrated. He was lost.

Peter desperately wanted to know what was going through Noa’s head, wanted to know why he’d lashed out at Rion. It didn’t make any sense. And Noa still wasn’t telling them anything. It was almost worse to hear him talk, despite the years of silence.

Noa spoke with such disgust and self-loathing. It was foreign. He’d said similar things before, but never in that tone. It was heartbreaking.

Why was Noa so upset with himself? And why had he gotten mad at Rion? Why did he try to hurt himself? Why was he rejecting everyone close to him?

None of it made any sense.

“Hey,” his dad spoke up. “Peter. How are you holding up?”

“Barely at all,” Peter said honestly.

He realized he’d slowed down, dragging his feet. He rubbed at his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath.

He still hadn’t slept. They’d gone home for a while before they’d come to see Noa, but it hadn’t done any good. They had something to eat and drink and then sat around, not saying much.

“Do you need a break?” his mom asked. “We could go home if you’re not up to visiting Rion.”

“I’m up for it,” Peter said. “I’m just tired.”

“Okay,” his mom said. “Say something if you change your mind.”

Peter wasn’t about to. Rion might know more about what happened. And honestly, he was probably alone, all by himself in the hospital. Peter had his doubts about Rion’s dad hanging around.

“It’s fine,” Peter said. “I just wish there was something I could do. I feel useless.”

“You’re not useless,” his dad told him. “Noa doesn’t want to see us right now. It’s hard and it hurts, but we’re still here to support him. He just needs some space.”

“I hope so,” Peter said. “Let’s just… Let’s go. I want to see Rion.”

They didn’t have much farther to go. Pediatrics was on the fourth floor, so they only needed to turn around a couple of hallways to find the right room number where they’d been told he was staying.

Unlike Noa’s sparse, empty room, Rion’s was much more like a regular hospital room. Stepping inside, there was even a closet and nightstand, both things that Noa didn’t have. But most shocking of all, one of the first things Peter spotted when he walked in, was Rion’s dad.

Peter did not expect him to be there. Even though he’d been told that Mr. Blum had stopped by earlier…

And then Peter saw Rion.

When they’d visited Noa, he’d been in bad shape. Noa was bruised and bandaged. He looked completely miserable, folding in on himself. Peter felt bad just looking at him.

Rion looked even worse.

The black eye that Sarina gave him had faded to nothing, but there was a fresh dark bruise on his jaw and several cuts across the right side of his face. The parts of him that stuck out from the sheets were bandaged up like a mummy. Both hands were wrapped up and so was almost the entirety of his right arm.

He looked horrible but somehow, Rion still managed to perk up when they walked in. He looked surprised to see them.

“Oh, hey! Wow!” Rion said. “Hi.”

He was certainly more upbeat than Noa, even though he looked like he’d been put through a blender.

“Hey,” Mr. Blum added. “Charlie, Elaine, it’s been a while.”

“Hart,” Peter’s dad returned, already smiling tiredly. He looked equally surprised to see Mr. Blum. “It’s been too long. How are you?”

“Well…” Mr. Blum began and smiled awkwardly, gesturing to Rion. “I’m not doing great, but…I’ve been told we got lucky.”

“Lucky?” Peter’s mom repeated in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Rion said. “Just got some stitches and stuff. It’s just cuts and bruises. It looks worse than it is. I’ll be okay.”

It was so hard to hear that come out of his mouth, especially considering the state he was in. Peter almost wondered how he could say it in the first place. But then he remembered Sarina had been hunting him down for years.

Peter sincerely hoped that Sarina and her friends had never beaten Rion this badly. He didn’t think that was the case, but the flippant way that Rion talked about his injuries… He couldn’t help but wonder.

Maybe he really should call the police and be done with them for good.

“You look like you were run over by a car,” Peter said, not mincing his words.

Rion let out a weak attempt at a laugh. “Kinda feels like it. I promise I’m doing okay, though. They’re giving me lots of pain meds. And dad’s visiting.”

“I took a few weeks off work,” Mr. Blum added, clearing his throat. “I’m going to be around for the next little while.”

“That’s great news,” Peter’s dad said. “Maybe we should all get together sometime while you’re free.”

“It’s been ages since we’ve spent time together,” his mom added.

“That sounds… Yes. It’s been too long,” Rion’s dad said. “We should make plans. I’m not sure I want to do anything this week since…you know.”

“Of course,” Peter’s mom said. “Noa’s in the hospital too. We just saw him. It’s…it’s hard.”

“It is,” Mr. Blum agreed.

“Say, how long have you been here?” Peter’s dad asked.

“About two hours.”

“Want to head down to the main floor and grab a coffee? You should stretch your legs.”

Mr. Blum spared a reluctant glance at Rion. “Well…I don’t know…”

“It’s okay,” Rion said. “You should go. Catch up.”

“I’ll keep Rion company,” Peter added. “Just get me a coffee on the way back.”

“I guess we could do that,” Mr. Blum said and turned back to Rion. “Do you want anything?”

Rion thought about it for a second and then said, “Chocolate.”

“Chocolate? Like chocolate milk or…?”

“Anything chocolate.”

The adults slipped out of the room together. Peter stole Mr. Blum’s seat. Part of him wanted to immediately start grilling Rion about what happened, but seeing him… Peter just felt tired. He sank into the chair.

“Hey,” Peter said. “Are you really doing okay?”

“I feel awful,” Rion said. “But I’m okay, yeah.”

“I’m pretty sure that feeling awful isn’t okay,” Peter said, letting out a long breath. “I’m really sorry about what happened. I should have been there…”

“It’s fine. It was an accident,” Rion said. “Noa and I were emotional and started arguing. It was stupid. I… I’m the one who’s sorry. It’s my fault.”

“No,” Peter said. “You… I mean… What happened? We just saw Noa. He’s really upset and told us to go away. I… I’m trying to understand what’s going on, but nothing makes sense to me.”

Rion glanced down at his lap. He was pinching the sheets between his fingers, picking at them.

“Noa was just upset because we looked at those pictures…” Rion said. “It was my fault. I don’t even know why I asked to see them. I should have… I should have just left them alone.”

“I don’t understand why Noa got so upset,” Peter said. “He still hasn’t completely calmed down. He’s not talking about what happened. I know that looking at those pictures is… It’s hard. They make me emotional too. But I don’t understand why he had such a negative reaction.”

“Noa… It’s hard for him,” Rion said. “It’s hard for me too. It was… It’s hard to think about that day.”

But that didn’t explain anything.

Peter knew that Noa had taken Amber’s death really hard. He’d stayed hidden in his room for days after, crying into a pillow, refusing to eat. Peter knew that being there, seeing the fire firsthand… That had to be a really horrible, terrible experience.

But Rion wasn’t completely losing it over the pictures. And Peter missed Amber too – she was his sister. And while he knew he hadn’t been there and it wasn’t the same, he felt like things had slowly gotten better over time. Amber’s death was sad. It was awful. But she had died six years ago…

Was it harder on Noa somehow? Was it because Noa tried to save Amber and burned his hand? Was it guilt that he hadn’t been able to do anything? Guilt that he lived and Amber didn’t?

Maybe Peter was looking too hard for an answer that wasn’t there. But what else could he do?

“I guess,” was all Peter could say to Rion.

“I’m really sorry. About everything,” Rion said.

“Don’t be,” Peter said. “I’m sorry that I left the house. I should have stayed there until someone else came. I should have been there.”

Just like he should have gone to the cabin back then. He should have been there with Noa and Rion and Amber.

If he’d been there, maybe he could have done something or noticed something or saved Amber. But he hadn’t wanted to go.

He remembered that day all too well. Peter had begged to stay late at a friend’s so that they could play games that evening. He hadn’t wanted to spend another overnight at the cabin. He’d wanted to go the next day.

Instead, his parents had come to pick him up before he’d even been expected home. They’d frantically explained about the cabin, about the fire. And they’d driven out…

Somehow, Peter hadn’t learned his lesson. He left Noa and Rion and then…

Danny had been left alone to deal with everything. He was stuck watching a fight unfold that no one had anticipated, a fight that he shouldn’t have had to deal with on his own.

Peter should have been there.

“It’s okay,” Rion told him. “It’s done now anyway. And…and Noa and I will be okay.”

Peter had about a million things he wanted to say in response to that. He swallowed it all down.

“Yeah,” he said. “Just take it easy and rest, okay? Get better.”

“That’s all I can do,” Rion said. “Oh. I met with Dr. Maes. She’s really nice.”

“Yeah?” Peter said. “Did she ask you what happened?”

“Pretty much everyone asked what happened,” Rion said. “But, um… Dr. Maes wants to have some more sessions with me. I think I’m into it. So, I guess you were right about that therapy stuff. I’m going to give it a shot.”

And finally, finally, Peter had something to feel good about.

“That’s great,” he said in relief. “That’s really good to hear. Dr. Maes is awesome with Noa. I think you’ll really like her.”

“I think so too,” Rion said. “I’m pretty sure I gave her a weird impression, though. I feel really high on these pain meds. I don’t think I’ve talked this much in ages. Makes my throat and mouth dry.”

Rion probably hadn’t had anyone to talk to for a long time. Peter wasn’t surprised.

“Maybe it’s a good thing that you’re talking so much,” Peter said. “Did you tell Dr. Maes about Sarina?”

“…No…”

“I think you should.”

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Obviously it’s up to you, but I think it’s a good idea.”

“I don’t even want to think about Sarina,” Rion said, closing his eyes for a moment, his lips pressed into an unhappy line. “My doctor noticed my old bruises, I guess. He told my dad and now I have to deal with that because he thinks I’m getting into fights.”

Peter wondered if he should say something to Rion’s doctor, just in case they thought Rion’s dad was hurting him. Mr. Blum was normally absent and didn’t deserve any potential blame for something Sarina did. Then again, if the doctor told Mr. Blum…maybe they didn’t suspect him?

“Your dad’s not wrong,” Peter said.

“Yeah, but… I don’t know,” Rion sighed. “I don’t want to deal with it.”

“Think about mentioning it to Dr. Maes,” Peter said. “It’s your choice, but I think it’s a good idea.”

“We’ll see…” Rion said.

He was silent, picking at his sheets for another moment. Then he glanced up, studying Peter with mismatched eyes.

“So…you said you’ve seen Noa?”

“Yeah,” Peter said. “We did.”

“Is he okay?” Rion asked.

“He’s in better shape than you,” Peter said. “He needed some stitches along his side. The doctors expect him to make a quick recovery.”

“Everyone’s been telling me that he’s okay,  but I’m worried,” Rion said. “He was so… I want to see him. The doctors don’t want me walking just yet because my feet are all cut up. I can’t do anything and it sucks.”

“I’ll bet,” Peter said. “Noa can’t have a lot of visitors right now so you probably won’t be able to see him. Not yet, at least. He doesn’t want to see anyone right now, so…”

“He would see me.”

“I’m not so sure…”

“No. He would see me,” Rion said with complete confidence. “He might be mad at me still, but… I know him. I know how he is. I’m pretty sure he wants to see me as much as I want to see him.”

And maybe Rion was right. The two of them had always been close. They seemed inseparable as kids and they had reconnected like six years apart meant nothing to them.

But Peter didn’t have a say in getting them together. And he didn’t think it was a good idea, with how Noa was acting.

“I’m sure that once you feel a bit better, they’ll let you see him,” Peter said. “But for now, you’d better rest and take care of yourself.”

“Is he blaming himself?” Rion asked.

The question stung, but only because the answer was yes.

“He said that it was his fault that Amber died,” Peter said.

“He’s wrong,” Rion said. “It’s not his fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. It was an accident. I was there. I remember.”

“I know,” Peter said. “Everyone knows. Noa… He just can’t see it that way.”

Rion let out a long, exhausted sigh. “I wish there was some way to convince him. I really tried… I’ve done everything I could. I… I dunno. Sorry. I’m rambling.”

“It’s fine,” Peter assured him. “Maybe you should try and rest. No one will mind if you need to sleep. You’re really hurt.”

Rion shook his head. “No. I want to stay awake until dad leaves. Besides, I might get some chocolate.”

“Yeah,” Peter said and smiled. “Okay. Just take it easy.”