Celeste didn’t expect Sarina to come by her place on Wednesday.

Her mom invited Sarina in and called for Celeste. She’d been talking to Sophie, but the moment Sarina showed up, her little sister immediately hid away in her room. Celeste was left to talk to Sarina on her own.

Sophie stopped liking Sarina when she decided to pick Jolie over Sophie for something in…was it fourth grade? Celeste only knew part of the story but whatever the exact reason, Sophie held a grudge and Sarina stayed friends with Jolie. They were in the same classes together, but as far as Celeste knew, they never talked or hung out unless they got stuck together with a school project.

Still, Celeste welcomed Sarina. She was hesitant because of last time, but Sarina seemed different today, more reserved. Celeste found out why when they went to her bedroom to talk.

The second the door was closed, Sarina began crying, tears streaming down her face.

“Sarina! Are you… Are you okay?” Celeste asked, hurrying to get her some tissues.

“N-no,” Sarina hiccupped. “Noa…Noa said he h-hates me, and…and I can’t talk to anyone b-because…because M-Monique keeps laughing at me and c-calling me boring!”

She accepted the tissues, burying her face in them. Celeste guided her to the bed, getting her to sit down. She sat next to her wanting to comfort Sarina.

“Maybe…maybe take a minute, and… Just let it out, okay?” Celeste told her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Sarina sat and bawled her eyes out into the tissues for several minutes. She was a mess. Celeste could only guess at what was upsetting Sarina so much, but she had a pretty good idea…

“I talked to Rion. About the bracelets,” Sarina said once she was finished crying. She was still sniffling, red eyed. “He admitted that he lied and then I went to talk to Noa… He said he hates me. Peter wouldn’t even let me in the house. I thought I could handle it and make it through today, but…Monique is being such a bitch about it…”

“I tried to tell you…” Celeste said.

“Yeah, but… Why doesn’t anyone understand!” Sarina said. “Everyone wants to make me out to be some big asshole, but, like… It’s not like that! I don’t get why everyone’s against me! Even Monique…”

“Well, you’ve done some bad things,” Celeste said, not wanting to mince her words too much. “You hurt Rion…”

“It’s not like I did it for fun. He’s an asshole!” she sniffled. “He wrecked his…! I mean… He’s hurt me and stuff too. And yelled at me. And called me names.”

“Okay, but he didn’t do that when we were kids,” Celeste said. “Right?”

“No…  But I don’t get what’s wrong with everyone! Why don’t they get it? Why don’t you get it?”

“Because it looks like Rion’s been defending himself from you,” Celeste said. “And you’ve been ganging up on him with your friends. I mean, that’s all true, isn’t it?”

“Yes but no!” Sarina protested. “I mean, yeah, we’ve done stuff to Rion, but like… It was never that bad!”

“What did you do to him then? How was it ‘not bad’?” Celeste asked. “Explain it to me.”

She hoped that maybe if Sarina could put it into words, she’d realize her own mistakes. She watched Sarina scrunch up her face as she thought about it.

“I mean… He’d call us names, so we’d push him around a little. Or…or, like, he’d push us in the hallway and when we’d tell him to fuck off, he’d get rude or hit us or whatever. So we’d hit him back.”

“Is that really what happened? Are you sure?” Celeste asked. “Because other people seem to have a different story. If we went to the school and asked your classmates, what would they say? Sophie says she’s seen Eric and Kyle go after Rion when you aren’t even around, so… Do you understand why it’s hard for us to believe you?”

Sarina looked up at her with wide eyes. “Eric and Kyle…without me…?”

“Yes,” Celeste said. “I mean, you don’t actually hang out with Eric and Kyle that much, do you?”

“I mean…no…” Sarina fumbled, looking down. “Okay. Okay, listen. I might have gone too far a few times, but… It’s Rion too! He does stuff too! It’s not just me.”

“Like what?” Celeste asked. “What does he do? Other than call you names.”

“I… I don’t know! Stuff!” Sarina said. “It’s day to day! It’s little things all the time! It’s not like I can name every single little thing!”

“Well, what did he do today?” Celeste asked.

She sniffled. “He wasn’t at school, so…nothing.”

Celeste frowned, wondering what that was about. Was he sick or was it something else? Maybe she should call and check in on him. But for now…

“What about yesterday?” Celeste asked.

Sarina’s lip curled. “He was really fucking rude.”

“You mean when you asked him about the friendship bracelets?” Celeste asked.

“I… Yeah,” she said and then hesitated. “Okay, so… I might have grabbed him by the backpack and dragged him along so that we could talk in private. But that was only because he was telling me to fuck off and stuff!”

“So…you’re saying he didn’t want to talk to you, told you to go away…and you forced him to talk to you anyway?” Celeste asked, wondering how Sarina could justify all of that in her own head. Celeste didn’t understand. “That… Do I have that right?”

Sarina began to blush. “I mean… I had to talk to him! It’s not like I was forcing him!”

“You just told me you dragged him around by the backpack.”

“I…I, well… Yeah. But only because he… What was I supposed to do?”

Celeste took a deep breath. She wanted to be patient and she wanted to talk to Sarina. But it was so hard right now. She didn’t understand what Sarina was thinking and she felt stressed just talking about it. It made her heart race whenever Sarina raised her voice.

“I want you to put yourself in Rion’s shoes, okay?” Celeste said. “Let’s say you really didn’t want to talk to Rion and he was trying to get your attention. You told him to fuck off. And then he dragged you off by your backpack. Would you be okay with that?”

“Rion’s not strong enough to drag me anywhere,” Sarina said.

“Okay, but let’s pretend he was. How would you feel?”

“I’d be pissed.”

“Okay. And would you be rude to him?”

“Well, yeah. But this is different!” Sarina said.

“How is it different? What’s different between you and Rion?” Celeste asked.

Sarina took a breath to answer but no sound came out. She closed her mouth, frowning deeply. Then she looked away.

“I don’t know. We’re different people,” she said.

“You might be different people, but Rion still has feelings,” Celeste said. “He gets hurt and sad and mad just like you do. You’ve done a lot of things to him, from what I’ve heard. He’s upset with you. That isn’t going to go away.”

“I… But… I’m not the bad guy,” Sarina said. “I hate how everyone, even Monique, is acting like I’m some shithead! It’s not like I enjoy hurting Rion! It’s not like I want him to get hurt!”

“Maybe that’s how you feel, but it’s not what it looks like,” Celeste said.

“All I wanted to know was the truth about the bracelets,” Sarina said. “And everyone…okay, maybe not you…but everyone else has been a dick about it.”

“You have the truth now,” Celeste said. “Noa wrecked his bracelet. Rion took the blame.”

“But why wouldn’t he just tell us?” Sarina said. “I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s really suspicious that Rion lied, right? I mean, I know he’s a liar, but… He can’t have just been protecting Noa. He must have had some other reason.”

How had Sarina’s mind gone there? How? It was like she was desperately clutching at any little thing that might excuse her actions.

“Noa’s his best friend,” Celeste said in disbelief. “Why wouldn’t he lie for him?”

Again, Sarina opened her mouth and was silent. This time, her expression was bitter. She looked down, twisting the tissues in her hands, ripping them up.

“I don’t know,” she said. “There’s… It can’t be that simple. It can’t…”

“Do you want to know what I think?” Celeste asked.

She was hesitant to say it, but knew it had to be said. When Sarina nodded, Celeste took a deep breath, forcing herself not to chicken out.

“I think you know what you did was bad,” Celeste said, her voice going small. She really wished she could speak with more confidence. “I think you know it was bad and you feel bad about it. And it hurts because you know what you did was wrong and you feel guilty. But you don’t want to admit it because…because that means you did something horrible.”

“But I didn’t do anything bad,” Sarina said quickly. “I didn’t.”

“Are you sure?” Celeste asked. “Do you really believe that?”

“I… I don’t know,” she said, looking away. “I don’t want Noa to hate me. I don’t want everyone to think… I don’t want people to think I’m some psycho. I didn’t… I didn’t know that Rion didn’t wreck his bracelet, okay? His looked exactly like Noa’s! How could anyone tell the difference? And why would I think that Rion had Noa’s bracelet? It wasn’t his! Why was it in his house? It’s stupid!”

The words came out in an angry rush, but Celeste was relieved. She felt like Sarina was finally starting to understand what she was doing wrong.

“You went through Rion’s things though, didn’t you?” Celeste asked.

“The bracelet was out in the open!”

“Was it?”

“I… Well… I think so. I’m pretty sure.”

“And even if it was in the open, you saw it and jumped to conclusions. You made a mistake. And that’s okay, but you can’t hold it against Rion or hurt him for it.”

“But he lied!” Sarina protested.

“If you were in Rion’s shoes, I think you would have lied too,” Celeste said. “How could he tell you that Noa did it? How could he blame Noa? Think about it, Sarina. Really, just…think about it for a second.”

Sarina did think. Celeste could tell because she was tearing up again.

“Yeah. Okay,” she finally admitted with a note of defeat. “I guess that makes sense… But it doesn’t mean Rion’s a good person.”

“No, but you should at least be able to see where he’s coming from, right?” Celeste asked. “Rion wanted to protect Noa. You made a mistake and thought the bracelet was his and he let us believe that. Because he couldn’t put the blame on Noa.”

Sarina looked down, fiddling with her tissues some more. “I don’t want to be wrong. I don’t want to… If I’m wrong, then… That means I’ve been hurting Rion all this time for nothing, and I… It’s not like there wasn’t a reason. It’s not like I enjoyed it. I’m not the bad guy.”

“Sarina…” Celeste began but there was a knock on the door. “Hold on.”

She got up and answered it. It was her mom.

“Peter’s on the phone for you,” her mom said with a hesitant smile. She’d probably heard Sarina’s raised voice from downstairs. “I know that you’re busy…”

“Oh, um…” Celeste began and glanced back at Sarina. She’d hidden her tissues in her fists and was trying to look like she hadn’t been crying. “Do you mind if I go down and talk to Peter for a minute?”

“No. No, I don’t mind,” Sarina said, sucking in a breath, forcing a smile. “I’ll come down with you.”

“Okay,” Celeste said. “Thanks for letting me know, Mom.”

They headed downstairs. The handset was off the hook to the side and Celeste picked it up. Sarina hovered nearby.

“Hello? Peter?” Celeste said.

“Hi, Celeste,” Peter answered. “I was wondering if you had plans for this weekend. Jesse and I were talking about having another get-together.”

“Oh, that sounds good. I’m free this weekend,” she said. “What were you thinking?”

“Well… Something happened today. Apparently, Rion skipped school and biked out to the lake. Jesse found him out there and gave him a ride home, but we were thinking of picking up his bike this weekend and then getting everyone together to hang-out after. Jesse’s worried about Rion and Noa wants to see him, so… It seemed like a good idea.”

Celeste gave Sarina a brief, wide-eyed look. Sarina said Rion wasn’t at school. He skipped school to bike out to the lake? That… No wonder Jesse was worried.

Sarina was staring back at her, eyes equally round in surprise. She could hear the whole conversation standing next to Celeste.

Celeste wondered if she should say something to Peter about Sarina being there. But was that okay? What should she say? She struggled to think of a way to mention it, her mind blanking.

“That… Um… Yeah. That does sound like a good idea,” Celeste stammered. “Okay. I won’t make any plans. Just let me know what day works out.”

“Sure,” Peter said. “Honestly, I’m worried about Rion too. Jesse said he found him laying on one of the docks. And when they talked, Rion said that Sarina told him to take a long walk off a short pier. I don’t think he was seriously considering it, but…he might have gone there subconsciously.”

“Oh,” Celeste said in a tiny voice.

She was still looking at Sarina and she saw the other girl flush pink and look down, her eyes darting about. There was no doubt in Celeste’s mind that what Jesse told Peter was true, but that look was almost a full confirmation.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Well, thanks for letting me know, Celeste. I called Danny and he said he was free on Saturday. Jesse’s free then too, so…”

“Saturday then,” Celeste said, faintly.

“Yeah. Saturday.”

They had an awkward back and forth, pinning down an exact time and then they said goodbye. She never managed to mention Sarina, too tongue-tied and flustered. When Celeste hung up, she immediately turned to her.

“You told Rion to take a long walk off a short pier?” Celeste asked, keeping her voice low.

“I didn’t mean it seriously!” Sarina hissed in just above a whisper. “I meant it like… I was just mouthing off! I didn’t want him to actually do it!”

“Sarina, he’s really not okay right now!” Celeste told her. “It should be obvious…”

She fell silent when she heard her mother’s footsteps down the hall.

“We should go back to my room,” she added.

“I… I think I need to go,” Sarina said. “Sorry. Thanks for… Thanks for everything.”

“Wait. Are you sure?” Celeste said. “I think–”

“Yeah. No. I really have to go,” Sarina said. “Thanks. I mean it.”