“…So then Rion tells me that Sarina told him to take a long walk off a short pier. And we’re standing on the dock! I got him to come back to the beach with me and gave him a ride home but… Peter, I’m really worried! We left his bike at the store. Should I just keep it there? What if he bikes out to the lake by himself again, and…”

Peter listened to Jesse ramble, worrying his bottom lip. He took a breath to respond but Jesse kept going.

“I’m really worried about him hurting himself or… I don’t want to say that he’s suicidal but at the same time, I don’t know what to think. And with Sarina saying that… I can’t believe her! I hate that she can do stuff to him at school and we have no idea what’s going on! How are we supposed to help him when he spends half his time there, forced to deal with Sarina? No wonder he skipped class!”

“Jess. Jesse,” Peter said, trying to get his attention. “Take a breath for me and let it out slowly.”

He listened to the receiver crackle as Jesse did as he asked.

“Okay,” Peter said. “Thank you. Now…you’re right to be worried. I completely agree with you. But I think this is a good sign.”

“A good sign?” Jesse repeated in disbelief.

“Yes,” Peter said. “If he was planning on hurting himself, I don’t think he would have mentioned Sarina’s comment. He was the one who put the thought in your head. I don’t think he would have done that if he was seriously planning something.”

“I… Okay. I guess that does make sense.”

“It is a red flag and you’re right to be worried. I am too,” Peter said. “But we need to build trust with Rion. We definitely need to get his bike back to him or else he’ll feel like you lied to him. If he was going to hurt himself, taking away his bike wouldn’t stop him anyway. He’s home alone the majority of the time; it would be much easier for him to hurt himself there, in private.”

“Don’t even say that…”

“I’m being honest. I know it’s hard to consider, but it’s true. If we don’t get his bike back to him, it’s going to break the trust we’ve already built. And if he doesn’t trust us, he’ll close up. That’s the last thing we want if he’s doing risky things by himself.”

And Peter knew what it was like to live with someone at risk. He dealt with Noa regularly. There were days when Noa started to talk and interact and they’d have good days together as a family. But then something would set him off and he’d retreat into himself and become cold and unresponsive for weeks.

And with Noa, half the time they didn’t even know what set him off. Sometimes it happened without warning. It was frustrating.

“I want Rion to be able to come to us,” Jesse said. “I want him to trust us. It’s just…the idea of him going to the lake all by himself and hanging around the dock… What if I hadn’t been there and he’d slipped? I… I don’t know…”

“You know what? I think you should tell him that,” Peter said. “Maybe go with him to get his bike back and then tell him you’re worried about him. If he’s struggling, it’s probably better for him to know that you care.”

“Yeah. I guess that’s true. I just… I don’t know. I’m really worried. The lake isn’t some random place to go and hang out. It’s… It’s where Amber died.”

“I know,” Peter said.

He struggled to go to the lake sometimes. He would get invites from old friends, but he felt compelled to decline. And while Peter didn’t have the same traumatic experience that Noa had with fire, he didn’t feel the same about late-night beach bonfires. It left a bad taste in his mouth.

“I wanted to work at the lake to feel close to Amber,” Jesse said. “It’s stupid. It doesn’t make sense. But I… When I go there, I think about her. I try to remember the good times that we all had out there. But sometimes, I can’t think about anything good and it can be really hard. I don’t know what’s going on in Rion’s head, but… I don’t think he’s in a good place and I feel like him going there alone is… I don’t see it ending well.”

“I know, Jesse. You’re not wrong to worry.”

“I want to know that he’s okay. And I can’t know that. It’s really… I wish there was something I could do.”

“You did do something. And it was the right thing. Rion needed you and you were there for him.”

“I know, but what if I’m not there for him next time?”

“You can’t think like that. It’s a rabbit hole. You’ll spiral.”

“It’s hard to not think like that.”

“I know. But you have to try.”

Jesse let out a long sigh in response, the receiver cracking again. He sounded stressed. Peter couldn’t blame him.

“How about this,” Peter continued. “We’ll call up Travis and see if we can borrow his truck to get Rion’s bike. Then maybe a few of us could go with you. We could hang out once we get back. If we do it on the weekend, we can have another little get-together back in town after.”

“Maybe,” Jesse said. “That might not be a bad idea.”

“We would get Rion’s bike back and we’d all be able to spend some time together,” Peter said. “It wouldn’t hurt for us to hang out again. Noa keeps asking about Rion. We’re going to need to plan something eventually so why not something with all of us together?”

“Yeah. Okay. That sounds… I should be free this Saturday, if that works.”

“I’ll give everyone else a call and see what’s up. If we can make it work, I think we should.”

“Peter?”

His heart jolted at the voice coming from right beside him. Peter spun around. Noa was standing there, looking up at him. He was quickly developing an annoying habit of sneaking up on him when he was on the phone.

“Sorry. One second,” Peter said to Jesse, covering the mouthpiece of the handset as he turned his attention to his cousin. “Hi, Noa. What is it?”

“Are you making plans to see Rion again?” Noa asked, expression open and hopeful.

“I’m just talking to Jesse, but yes. We were thinking of maybe doing something again this weekend,” Peter said.

“Okay. Good,” Noa said.

Then he did something completely unexpected. He leaned in close to the phone in Peter’s hands and said, “Hi, Jesse.”

“Noa?” came a muffled, surprised response.

Noa had already turned and wandered off, disappearing back to the living room. Peter stood there blinking before raising the phone again.

“…He hasn’t done anything like that in…well…years,” Peter said.

“Yeah, I know,” Jesse said. “That… Wow. Okay, I can see why you want him spending more time with Rion.”

“He’s changing,” Peter admitted, lowering his voice. “He’s starting to act like his old self more and more. I don’t want to get too excited in case it’s temporary, but… I can’t deny that I’m happy about it.”

Since Rion came over, there’d been a huge change in Noa. Peter could tell how excited it made his parents. Noa was starting to talk more often. He’d make the odd comment here or there, ask the odd question, and seemed more alert. And he asked about Rion a lot.

“Yeah. If that’s the effect Rion’s having, that’s incredible.”

“I know,” Peter said. “If I had known he would react to Rion like this, I would have been trying to get them together this whole time. Then again, maybe what they needed was space and that’s why things are working out so well now.”

“Yeah, maybe. Who knows. But I think it’s great,” Jesse said. “I’m really glad that Noa’s opening up. I’m happy for him.”

“Me too,” Peter said. “Anyway, I should let you go. I have some stuff to take care of, so…”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Peter. I just… I’m worried and I don’t really know who else to talk to.”

“That’s okay. I understand,” Peter said. “I’m glad you called. Let me know if anything else comes up. Or if you just want to talk, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Peter. I appreciate that. A lot has been going on…”

“I know. It feels like the motto lately.”

“Yeah, it really does. Say hi to Noa for me, okay? And let me know about what’s happening on the weekend. I’ll call around and see if anyone will help with Rion’s bike.”

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks, Jesse. It’s nice talking to you.”

After they said their goodbyes and hung up, Peter went to the living room. His mom was there, along with Noa. The TV was on low and Noa was drawing.

Even from this angle, Peter could tell that Noa was drawing hands again. Peter had stopped asking why a long time ago. It was something that Noa had occasionally done as a kid, but his hand art got more frequent every year.

Noa drew lots of other things. He was talented. He spent several hours a day drawing and it wasn’t even uncommon for him to cover the back of his homework in art. But he had some very specific quirks and things he liked to draw. It was a Noa thing.

“Hey, Peter,” his mom said, sitting up. “That was Jesse on the phone? Is he coming over?”

“No, no. We’re trying to make more plans for this weekend,” Peter said. “Rion biked out to the lake the other day and Jesse drove him home. Rion’s bike is still out there so I was thinking maybe some of us could go pick it up this weekend. We could come back and hang out after.”

Noa’s attention was immediately on him, intense and focused.

“Rion went to the lake?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Peter said.

“That’s a long bike ride. It has to be about an hour,” his mom said. “It was probably a good idea for Jesse to drive him home.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Peter said.

“Did he go out to the cabin?” Noa asked.

“Wha…? Noa, the cabin… It’s gone,” Peter said, taken aback.

Noa let out a small, annoyed huff. “I know that. I mean, did he go out to where the cabin used to be?”

“I… I don’t know,” Peter admitted.

The question threw him for a loop. He didn’t expect it. Because why would Rion go out to where the cabin was? He didn’t go to Amber’s grave, just like Noa. And Noa was pretty insistent about not going to the lake. Peter couldn’t see why Rion would want to go there if Noa didn’t.

It was such a weird question. It made him feel like he was missing something. But then, maybe he was jumping to conclusions.

“Did Jesse ask him?” Noa continued.

“He didn’t say anything about it. He said he ran into him on the beach,” Peter said, omitting the part about the dock. “Is there…is there a reason to go to where the old cabin used to be?”

Noa pinched his lips together. He was silent for a long moment and then, finally, he shook his head.

“We haven’t been out to the lake in a long time,” Peter’s mom spoke up. “Maybe we should go. It’s probably a little cold this time of year, but we could all make a trip next summer. If everyone wants to.”

“Maybe,” Peter said. “It might not be a bad idea. For now, we need to get Rion’s bike back. We won’t be staying long. We’ll just make a quick trip and come back.”

Noa didn’t look impressed. After a moment, he shrugged, as if deciding something.

“What? What is it?” Peter asked.

“I don’t want to go out to the lake,” Noa said.

He said it like Peter expected him to go. That wasn’t the case at all. Peter wasn’t even sure that he would have offered to have Noa come with them to pick up the bike.

“You don’t have to,” Peter told him. “It will probably just be Jesse, Travis, and Rion…maybe me too. I don’t know. You can stay here and we can meet up after.”

“If Rion is going, I’m going too,” Noa said.

“Are you sure?” Peter asked.

Noa nodded.

“Okay,” Peter said, though he felt reluctant about it. “I still need to call the others and arrange everything. Nothing is decided.”

“If you want to hang out here, you’re more than welcome to,” his mom said. “I picked up some shifts this weekend so I’m not sure if I’ll be around, but your father should be home. We could pick up some snacks and rent a movie or something.”

“I’ll call the others,” Peter said. “We’ll figure things out.”