Danny sounded weird on the phone when he called Rion Monday night to ask if they could hang out. Rion, tired and spent, hadn’t been thinking about anything other than being able to hang up the phone. He blindly agreed to host Danny and Peter after supper and now he was deeply regretting it.

Rion was exhausted. He’d spent all of yesterday wondering when Sarina and her friends would come after him. They’d left him alone, but he’d seen them conspiring together at lunch. He figured it was only a matter of time before they would hunt him down.

He’d been tense since he got to school, constantly glancing over his shoulder. Nothing happened, but now the last thing he wanted was to hang out with Danny and Peter. He was sure they just wanted to check in on him after the storm, but… There was also a chance the friendship bracelets would come up.

Peter said he wouldn’t tell anyone but that didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t like Rion trusted him. Rion couldn’t trust anyone other than Noa.

If Peter told Danny about the two bracelets and they were coming over to talk about it, Rion wasn’t ready. But he didn’t know how to refuse them either. Putting it off would make him anxious and he was stressed enough already. He couldn’t run away from it. Danny lived across the street, so it was only a matter of time before they saw each other and it came up again.

Rion had enough sense to eat a sandwich before Danny and Peter came over. It served as his only chance to try and mull things over, but his mind was buzzing and he couldn’t think. He had taken his last bite when there was a knock at the front door.

His time was up.

Rion sprinted through the living room, dusting crumbs off his hands. He greeted them at the door with a bland, “Hey.” and stepped back so that they could come inside.

“Are you okay?” Danny asked him immediately as he closed the door shut behind him. “You don’t look so good.”

“I’m fine,” Rion said. “What do you want?”

Danny hesitated at the tone, frowning. Peter spoke up.

“We want to talk,” he said. “Can we come in and sit down?”

“Sure,” Rion said, heading into the living room.

He sat in his dad’s chair, letting himself sink into the seat. He wished he could disappear into it. He felt queasy. Peter and Danny took the couch.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Danny asked. “You’re kinda… Sarina hasn’t been picking on you at school, has she?”

Peter sat up straight in his seat. “I hadn’t thought of that. Rion, did she…?”

“No,” Rion said. Even though he knew it was just a matter of time and the wait was killing him. “Is that what you wanted to talk about? If I’m okay?”

“That’s part of it,” Peter said.

“Yeah. Honestly? I’m super worried about you,” Danny said. “It’s good that Sarina left you alone but…uh… You’re okay after everything that happened this weekend, right?”

“I told you I’m fine,” Rion said, though even he knew the words were hollow. “I… Okay, I’m a little stressed out. But who isn’t? You guys don’t look fine.”

“Your situation is a little different,” Peter said. “You’re being abused by Sarina and her friends. We’re right to be worried.”

Rion took a breath and rolled his eyes. “This isn’t anything new. And it’s not abuse. I thought we were done with this Sarina stuff.”

“I don’t think we’ll be done with that for a long time,” Danny said. “Look, you don’t have to spend all your time alone, dealing with everything yourself. You have us. I’m not going to go on and on about it but… I just have to say it. Watching Sarina attack you was scary. I need to make sure that you know we’re your friends. And we're not okay with the stuff Sarina is doing.”

“Okay. Fine. I know,” Rion said. He didn’t mean to sound as annoyed as he did. “Is that everything? Because I’m really tired of talking about it.”

“There is something else…” Peter said.

He hesitated, his expression guilty. It was a strange look on Peter’s face. Danny turned to him, nudging him with his elbow.

“I told Danny that I saw the friendship bracelets,” Peter finally said. “I know I said that I wouldn’t tell anyone, but… Well, it doesn’t matter. Privacy is important, and… I’m sorry, Rion.”

Of course. Of course, that’s why they were both here. Rion hated how that stupid bracelet clung to him like a festering wound. It wouldn’t go away and it made everything worse.

He wasn’t even mad. He just let out a long, disappointed breath through his nose.

“It wasn’t exactly Peter’s fault,” Danny said. “It wasn’t that he was trying to break your trust or anything…”

“It doesn’t matter what I was trying to do,” Peter said to Danny and then added for emphasis, “No excuses. I did something I shouldn’t have.”

“Whatever. I don’t care,” Rion said.

It was a lie. He cared. It hurt. But he expected it.

“Even if you don’t care,” Peter said, “I’m sorry.”

Rion couldn’t be upset since Peter sounded completely sincere. Rion couldn’t remember the last time someone actually owned up to a mistake and apologized to him. It was foreign and it made him feel…grateful? It was a tiny bubble of emotion that he squashed down and brushed aside.

“Thanks for that, I guess,” Rion said. “Wasn’t expecting an apology. So…I’m guessing you want to talk about it? The bracelet?”

Danny opened his mouth but Peter spoke up first, beating him to it.

“Yes,” Peter said. “I want to hear your side of things. You have two friendship bracelets. One of them is Noa’s, isn’t it.”

“Yeah,” Rion admitted, glancing down.

He needed to come up with something to say, an explanation. He’d mulled it over before and he had a few muddled ideas of what he might say. In the moment, it was hard. Whatever came out of his mouth had to be believable.

“I have Noa’s bracelet, but it doesn’t change anything,” Rion said, not looking up at them. He studied the leg on the coffee table, at the small scuffs on the old wood. “I still wrecked my bracelet. Noa… I kind of took his from him? For safekeeping. He was really upset after the funeral, and… That’s it. Nothing to make a fuss over.”

He glanced up to gauge their reactions. Peter’s calm, flat expression and Danny’s frown told Rion that neither one of them believed him.

“Really?” Danny said. “Then…why didn’t you tell anyone you had Noa’s bracelet? Especially when we were all together and you offered to help look for it.”

“Because… You saw how Sarina was,” Rion said, reaching up to scrub at the back of neck. “She couldn’t know. And I didn’t know how everyone else would react. I was going to take the bracelet with me, pretend to look for it, ‘find’ it, and give it back to Noa. Then everything would be okay.”

“Um…no? Because you would have been lying?” Danny said, his eyebrows going up. “Trying to sneak the bracelet back to Noa… That seems really weird.”

“We aren’t like Sarina,” Peter said. “That should be more than obvious by now. You could have told us that you have Noa’s bracelet. But you didn’t.”

“Sorry that I lied, I guess. I’m an idiot so there you go. I fucked up,” Rion said. “Is that everything? Are we done?”

Peter and Danny exchanged a glance. Danny opened his mouth to speak but Peter shook his head.  Danny stopped himself, letting Peter take the lead.

“That’s not everything,” Peter said. “The reason I had to tell Danny that I saw the bracelet… It’s because I talked to Noa about it first.”

Rion’s heart jolted in his chest. He straightened in his seat.

Peter talked to Noa? Noa… Had Noa told him…?

No! No, no, no!

Peter was watching him intently. “I asked him what happened to his bracelet. I wanted his side of things, to try and understand. Noa said that he cut up his friendship bracelet. He said that he wasn’t good to Amber, and he… He was upset.”

“It’s a lie,” Rion snapped immediately. “He doesn’t mean it. He doesn’t mean any of it. He… No. He didn’t do it. It was me. Noa never did anything wrong. Not once. Never.”

The words came out in a hard, sharp rush that took Danny aback, judging from how rapidly he blinked, leaning back in his seat. But Peter was giving him a cool, level stare.

“Noa was in tears,” Peter said. “I don’t think he was lying. He doesn’t have a reason to.”

“To protect me,” Rion was quick to say. “Obviously, it’s to protect me. That way no one would get angry with me or hurt me or–”

“Noa didn’t know about your situation with Sarina until I told him,” Peter said. “And when I did tell him, I didn’t say much. Noa didn’t seem like he was telling me anything to protect you. It was a lot more like a breakdown, like he was telling me a secret he’d been hanging onto for too long. I don’t believe he was lying.”

No, Peter had to believe it. They both had to believe it. How else was Rion supposed to protect Noa?

“Then…then maybe he’s just confused,” Rion said. “Maybe he forgot or he… I don’t know. It’s not true. It was me. I did it. No one else. Noa’s bracelet is fine and he can have it back. That was my whole stupid plan from the beginning; to give him back his bracelet.”

“I don’t think that’s what this is about,” Peter said.

“It doesn’t matter what you think. The only thing that matters is the truth,” Rion said, the words bitter on his tongue when he knew he was the liar. “Listen, I know you think I’m a good guy for some reason, but I’m not. I wreck shit and hurt people. You live with Noa, Peter. You know he’s not like that.”

“He is like that, actually,” Peter said. “You think he doesn’t wreck things? Where did you get that idea? He did that sort of thing even before Amber died.”

Rion took a breath to argue but the words stuck painfully in his throat, refusing to come out.

Peter was right. Noa had always been destructive when he was upset. Usually, he took out his aggression in harmless ways like ripping up paper, breaking sticks, or kicking rocks into the ditch. Noa did his best to work out his destructive nature in ways that wouldn’t hurt anyone. But sometimes he did wreck the odd thing that he cared about; shred a really nice drawing or crush a favourite toy…

Rion wasn’t sure if it was something that came from Noa’s childhood, from his abusive family, or if it was because he was such a quiet, stoic guy and his emotions needed an outlet. Rion wasn’t a therapist and he could only guess. But he knew Noa. He understood that he needed to vent sometimes.

Of course Peter would know how Noa was. They lived together. Right now, Peter was probably closer to Noa than Rion was.

The thought left a painful void in his chest.

Rion should be there for Noa. He should be helping him. Instead, he was causing problems with a stupid bracelet that should have been thrown in the trash.

“That’s… It’s different,” Rion said weakly, determined to defend his point. “He really loved that bracelet. Amber gave it to him and he… It meant a lot to him. He would never cut it up.”

“So you’re calling Noa a liar?” Peter said. “Really?”

“That or he’s confused or trying to protect me,” Rion said. “Are you calling me a liar?”

Peter stared at him for a moment and then nodded. “Yes. I am.”

“I have an idea,” Danny spoke up, glancing between the two of them. “We can confirm whose bracelet is whose. We have photo albums right in the living room at home – just unpacked them. Mom has tons of pictures from when we were kids. Amber gave us those bracelets on my birthday and I’m pretty sure there’s even pictures of all of us showing them off for the camera. We can compare the intact bracelet to the pictures and we’ll know who it belonged to.”

Rion stared at Danny, the air stolen from his lungs. He hadn’t expected that, hadn’t predicted it.

Pictures…

Rion had no way to refute that. If they looked at pictures, they would know immediately. The pattern and colours would give everything away. Rion’s bracelet was intact and Noa’s was not.

All the thought he’d put into trying to protect Noa was crushed, just like that. Proof… It had never occurred to Rion. No one cared to look for proof when it came to anything that happened to him. Never. And now that someone had…

It was over. It was done.

Rion slumped down, putting his face in his hands. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t pretend or argue. He couldn’t protect Noa. Everything had come undone at the seams, just like that.

“Hey, whoa,” Danny said. “Rion, are you okay?”

“He’s upset because he already knows what’s in your mom’s albums,” Peter said. “He lied and Noa told the truth.”

Rion was fighting to hold back tears. His eyes were burning. He wanted to sink into his seat and disappear. He let the other two keep talking, wishing he could shut them out.

“So, it’s all true,” Danny said. “Noa… He really wrecks things like that, Peter?”

“You don’t remember him doing it when he was younger?” Peter asked.

“No, but it’s been a while.”

“Noa has a lot of problems. He can be destructive. I can easily imagine him wrecking his bracelet.”

“But then…” Danny began. “Rion, why did you lie? Why did you tell Sarina you wrecked the bracelet?”

“I didn’t,” Rion said, the words slipping out in a pained moan.

There was a pause, silence. Then…

“Oh…oh, Sarina just assumed,” Peter said in sudden understanding. “She thought you did it because she found it in your house, with your things…”

As much as Rion wanted to shut down and ignore them, he found himself nodding. That was what happened. Sarina found the bracelet and she’d lost it on him. She had repeated, “How could you?!” over and over again.

It hurt. All the accusations and the anger hurt. But his pain protected Noa and that was a good thing.

“So, Sarina just assumed it was Rion and then…” Danny began, and Peter finished his sentence for him.

“…and then she was after Rion. How could he tell anyone that it wasn’t him? He couldn’t tell the truth without turning Sarina on Noa. And Noa… Rion, you’ve been lying this whole time to protect him, haven’t you.”

Rion shut his eyes tight and he could feel the tears slip free. He tried to scrub them away. His hands were shaking.

He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it. What would Sarina have done to Noa if she thought he wrecked the bracelet? Rion couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Noa get hurt.

This was his fault anyway. It was fine if Sarina hurt him. It was okay. Everything was fine.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Rion said. “You can’t… Please.”

“What?” Danny said. “But the others deserve to know. Sarina needs to know.”

“No!” Rion said, jolting.

He looked up but his vision was swimming. He scrubbed away more tears, his bruised eye stinging at the rough treatment. He hated how he could feel his lips trembling, his hands trembling. His whole body felt like it was shaking and he hated that too, feeling exposed and vulnerable and weak.

“You can’t tell Sarina,” Rion insisted. “You can’t. Please. If she tries to hurt Noa… It’s not his fault. He didn’t mean it. He was just hurt and sad and upset and…and…Am-Amber…”

His breath kept hitching and he couldn’t keep going, burying his face in his hands again, choking back sobs. The air was too tight in his chest. The memories from back then were like an emotional weight suddenly pressing down on him.

“Rion, as far as I’m concerned, Sarina isn’t ever coming near Noa,” Peter said. “Okay?”

He was serious. Rion could hear it in his voice. He risked another teary-eyed glance up between his fingers and saw Peter staring at him, expression intense and concerned.

Rion choked on his own breath. “But…but if Sarina knows…”

“We are not going to let her hurt Noa,” Peter said. “She’s not laying a finger on him. I’ll go and tell my parents about her as soon as I get home.”

“No! No, no, please!” Rion said. “I don’t want anyone to know. You don’t understand. You don’t get it.”

“I think we both get that you’re protecting Noa,” Danny chipped in. “Listen, I’ll fight Sarina myself if she goes after Noa. No one’s going to let her do anything to him.”

But that wasn’t Rion’s only fear. Of course he wanted to protect Noa from Sarina. But if Sarina found out…

How would she react? Sarina would probably think he was lying. She might get even more violent. Or she would believe him… While Rion hated the idea of her harassing him even more, he wasn’t sure he wanted to risk Sarina having a change of heart either. It was a slim chance, but she could stop attacking him. And that wouldn’t be okay.

Because everything was his fault. Everything was on him. He deserved what Sarina and her friends dished out, even though he hated it. And he couldn’t explain that to anyone.

Everything needed to stay the way it was. It couldn’t change. Rion didn’t want it to.

“Rion, we need to tell the others,” Peter said. “You don’t deserve to get beat up for something you didn’t even do. You shouldn’t have people angry at you just because you were protecting Noa. You… This whole time you’ve been the best friend Noa could have ever asked for. You’ve given up so much for him.”

“Yeah,” Danny said. “What’s going on really isn’t okay. If we tell everyone the truth, we can start fixing things.”

Rion couldn’t find his voice. He was afraid of freeing the pained sound that wanted to escape his throat. He looked away, still brushing aside tears.

Peter got up, grabbing the box of tissues off the coffee table. He passed them to Rion and crouched next to his chair. Danny sprung up and shuffled over too, hovering nearby.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked him, “and I’m not asking how you feel. I can tell you feel horrible. I mean…are you doing okay? Day to day? What you’re going through can’t be easy…”

Rion instantly felt ten times worse. He grabbed a fistful of tissues so that he could bury his face in them. He curled in on himself, not wanting to answer.

And then there was a warm hand on his shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze.

Rion’s mind melted at the contact. He didn’t have words for everything it made him feel all at once or how long it had been since someone touched him in a warm, comforting way. Something in him snapped and he broke down. No matter how hard he tried to hold back his sobs, they overcame him completely.

“R-Rion, are you okay?”

“Danny, no. No, he’s not okay. Just… He needs a minute.”

“Geez, I… Shit.”

Rion eventually calmed down, breathing shakily into soggy, shredded tissues. He was too afraid to look up, too afraid to face them like this. He was a mess, an embarrassment. He couldn’t think straight.

“Hey, Rion?” Peter said. “Are you doing better? You need water or…?”

“I…” Rion started, sucking in a sharp breath, “I need to… Just give me a second.”

Rion pulled his face from the tissues and pushed himself up on unsteady legs. He didn’t look at them as he shuffled off to the kitchen.

He could hear Peter and Danny following him. He tried to ignore them, tossing the tissues in the garbage and going to sink. He ran the water, splashing some on his face before standing there, bracing himself, breathing.

“Rion.”

Rion didn’t turn around. It was Peter. There was something in his voice that Rion wasn’t familiar with. It made his heart ache – literally. There was a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with any of his bruises.

“I’m worried about you,” Peter continued. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Rion told him.

He hated how rough and cracked his voice sounded. His throat was dry from crying. He should have a drink or something, but he just couldn’t right now. Not with Danny and Peter still around.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Peter said. “Tell me anything.”

Rion closed his eyes for a moment, trying to steady himself. He tried to think of what he could say. He didn’t think he could lie. Not right now. And he needed to give them something or Peter obviously wasn’t going to leave him alone.

“I’m not okay,” he admitted, though he hated to say it, “but I’m managing.”

“Are you really?” Danny asked.

“Yes,” Rion said, finally turning to face them. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this right now. I… I’ve had a rough couple of days and I’m tired.”

“What happened?” Danny asked. “You said Sarina didn’t do anything.”

“She didn’t. That’s the problem,” Rion said. “Listen… You can’t tell anyone about the bracelets. Please. I don’t want anyone to know.”

“I can’t agree to that,” Peter said. “I’m here for you if you need to talk. And I’ll support you in whatever way I can. But Noa was totally open about the bracelets and I can’t let Jesse and Celeste or anyone else think that you wrecked your bracelet when all you’ve done is protect Noa.”

“I just don’t want anyone to get mad at him,” Rion said. “I remember what happened back then, Peter. I remember how you reacted – the way you looked at me. You all hatedme. Noa…Noa can’t… He… I can’t put him through that.”

Rion blinked rapidly, afraid he would cry again. His voice was wavering dangerously.

“But pretty much everyone has forgiven you,” Danny said. “The fact that it was Noa… I mean, come on! Those bracelets were special, but they’re just string. You and Noa are both worth more than any bracelet.”

“Exactly,” Peter said. “Back then… We were all dumb kids and Amber had just passed away. It was hard on all of us. Emotions were running high, and… Things are different now. We’re not going to turn on Noa.”

“How can I be sure?” Rion said. “How can I know that? Peter, it’s been six years. I’ve been dealing with this for six fucking years. And you’re telling me that everything’s fine now? Because Noa did it?”

He was getting upset, distressed. Rion could feel it. He tried to take a breath, but it felt impossible to relax.

Peter, surprisingly, looked hurt. He was quiet for a moment while Danny chewed on his bottom lip, brows knit in concern.

“You’re right,” Peter said. “It’s been six years. And you weren’t treated fairly. Even if we were kids, we shouldn’t have treated you the way we did. I’m sorry.”

Rion’s breath hitched. He had nothing to say to that, too surprised.

Never would he have ever thought anyone would apologize to him for that. He didn’t know what to say, what to do, or how to react. It was a shock.

“I don’t know how things have been, but I’m on your side,” Danny said. “And I’m on Noa’s side too. I’m not going to let anyone go after either of you. So you’ve got me.”

“And me,” Peter said. “I mean that. And I am sorry. Please give me a chance to make up for these past six years, Rion. I want to help.”

“I…” Rion said and then took a deep breath. “I don’t know… How can I trust you when you want to run off and tell everyone what Noa did?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Peter said. “It might hurt some people. Jesse and Celeste might be upset. Sarina might get angry at Noa. But we need to make things right, and this… What you’re doing right now isn’t working.”

It was true. It wasn’t working and nothing was right. Nothing could ever be right because Amber was dead.

“I…I just don’t want Noa to get hurt,” Rion said. “I don’t want anyone to go after him. He was… He was so upset. Noa just… He doesn’t deserve to be hated for that.”

“I don’t hate him,” Danny said. “And I don’t hate you.”

“Same here,” Peter told him. “We’re your friends. Please, let us help you.”

Rion didn’t even know what that meant. Help? Help how?

He opened his mouth and took a deep breath. “I just… I can’t think right now. I don’t feel good. I need… I just can’t… Can you at least hold off telling everyone about Noa?”

“I’m not making any promises,” Peter said. “I’m sorry, Rion. I can’t do that.”

“But…but we aren’t going to run of and tell everyone right away,” Danny said, glancing between the two of them. “You can get some rest, Rion. Maybe…take a day to think it over?”

Rion didn’t want another day of being stressed. He‘d done that twice now. Waiting for Sarina to come after him and waiting for Peter to tell everyone… The thought was already making him sick.

“I know this is hard on you,” Peter said, “but it’s the right thing to do. And I think you know it.”

“I just…” Rion began and shook his head. “I want Noa to be safe.”

“I will do everything I can to protect him,” Peter said. “I promise.”

There was nothing else Rion could do. It was out of his hands. He was helpless.

“I want some space,” Rion finally said. “Please leave. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.”

Danny was glancing between them, brows knit. Peter was frowning too, but he nodded.

“Fine,” Peter said, a note of reluctance in his voice. “I just want you to know… It probably doesn’t feel like it right now, but I’m on your side. We’re on your side. Okay?”

“Okay,” Rion said.

“Good,” Peter said. “I’ll call you later and we can work things out. Please take care of yourself.”