There wasn’t an official agreement between anyone, but every year on the fourth of September, there was a small get-together at the graveyard.

Jesse came every year on the anniversary of Amber’s death.  He visited when he could throughout the year, but today was a day Jesse felt obligated to visit, no matter what.  He always brought flowers; twelve red roses.  It had turned into a tradition.

Jesse arrived at the graveyard before anyone else this year.  It gave him a chance to arrange the roses, to check the headstone and make sure it was clean.  Just as he finished, the Murphys arrived.

Amber’s parents always brought her lilies.  They were Amber’s favourite.  Peter, Amber’s younger brother, was with them.

As expected, Noa was nowhere in sight.  He was probably still in the car.

“Hey,” Jesse greeted them, getting to his feet and dusting off his hands.

“Good morning, Jesse,” Elaine, Amber’s mother, said with a warm but tired smile.  Amber and Peter had both taken after her, sharing her dark brown hair and gentle features.  “It’s good to see you.  How have you been?”

“Busy,” Jesse admitted.

“I heard you took a job out at the lake a while back,” Amber’s father, Charlie, said conversationally.

His wife went to put the flowers on Amber’s grave, setting them next to Jesse’s roses.  Peter gave her a hand.

“Yeah, down at the gift shop.  It’s nothing special,” Jesse said.

“Oh, Jesse, these roses are beautiful,” Mrs. Murphy said.  “Did you get them at Labelle Gardens?”

“I had to,” he told her with a  smile.  “Their greenhouse is the best.”

“Sophie gave us a hand with the lilies when we picked them up,” Charlie said.  “I didn’t see Celeste, so I thought she would be here already.”

“I’m sure she’s on her way,” Peter added as he stood, brushing off his hands and turning to Jesse.  “Any plans for school?”

Jesse couldn’t help but smile.  Peter had changed in some ways and stayed the same in others.  He was tall, dark haired, but he had his father’s green, sharp-eyed gaze.  He looked like someone who would be in business or law from the professional way he liked to dress, but the reality was that he was a complete nerd in the fondest sense.

“I’m still not sure,” Jesse admitted.  “I don’t know what I want to do yet.  I’ve been looking at a lot of courses and programs, but I figured it doesn’t hurt to work and save up for school while I think it through.”

Peter nodded.  “It’s better to go once you know what you want to do.  I started school knowing I wanted to work with computers and technology.  I know it makes a difference.  Some of my classmates are so lost and it feels like a dozen people drop out the first month of each semester.”

“Well, we always knew you were smart,” Jesse told him.  “You could have picked anything.”

Peter rolled his eyes and Jesse chuckled.

“It’s not that I’m smart.  I’m just determined,” Peter said.  “There’s a difference.”

Jesse spotted a beat up, half-rusted, red pickup truck.  It pulled up next to where the Murphys parked their car.  That was Travis which meant Sarina was here.  He could see her slipping out the passenger door, bleached blond hair pulled up into a messy bun.  She was clearly enjoying the warm weather since she was wearing a halter top, jeans, and some faux-suede boots.  Sarina called out as she ran over to them, waving her arms enthusiastically.

“Heeey!”

Peter turned to his parents and joined in the quiet conversation they were having.  Peter had never been close to Sarina but now he barely acknowledged her.

Jesse wasn’t close to her either, but he felt a sort of camaraderie with her.  They were linked by their different relationships with Amber.

Jesse waved back.

“I almost didn’t make it because my idiot brother got pulled over by the cops,” Sarina complained when she reached them.  “We got lucky and it turned out we were pulled over for speeding and we got let off with a warning…”

She glanced at the Murphys and then lowered her voice to confide with Jesse, “And of course Travis had weed on him.  I was sweating the whole time.  Talk about a heart attack!”

“You need your own car,” Jesse told her.

“Can’t afford one and dad gave the old truck to Travis.  It’s such a pain,” Sarina huffed, leaning back.  “Anyway, it’s good to see you guys.  How are you?”

“Busy.  I’ve been working,” Jesse said.

“Out at the lake, right?  Aren’t they doing a whole bunch of renovations out there?  Like, they’re building a resort or something, aren’t they?”

“I think so.  They did a bunch of work on the old visitor’s center and they’re building new cabins.”

Travis had gotten out of his truck and was already lighting up a cigarette when another car pulled up behind him.  Travis waved at the occupants of the other vehicle.  Celeste got out of the driver’s side waving back, and, of all people, Danny got out of the passenger’s side, bouquet of yellow roses in hand.

“Is that Danny?” Jesse asked.

Sarina’s head whipped around.  “Oh my god, it is.  Danny!  Hey!”

She waved enthusiastically and Danny lifted one arm to wave back.  He came hurrying over, Celeste not too far behind.

“Sarinaaaa!” Danny called out, grinning when he finally came to stop.  “Ugly as ever, I see.”

“We haven’t seen each other in ages and that’s the first thing you say?” she said, but she was grinning.  “You fucking jerk.”

“I missed you too!” Danny laughed.  Then he turned to Jesse.  “Hey, Jess!  Good to see you!  And Peter!  Hi!”

“Hi, Danny,” Peter said with a smile.  “It’s great to see you.”

Sarina took that moment to lunge and pull Danny into a tight hug.  Danny managed to hold the roses out of the way, saving them from being smushed.  He laughed, hugging Sarina back with one arm.  Celeste reached them, smiling as she took the flowers so that Danny could give Sarina a proper hug.

“Did you shrink?” Sarina said.  “You’re shorter than me now!  How the hell did that happen?”

“You grew!  Also, you’re blonde now!  What the heck,” Danny said, trying to pull back.  “Okay, okay!  Let go!”

“Hey,” Celeste added.  She had barely changed over the years; pushed in nose, bucked toothed, and yet somehow possessed one of the world’s sweetest smiles.  “It’s good to see all of you.  I ran into Danny on the way here and offered him a ride.”

“Because Celeste is an angel,” Danny said when Sarina finally let him go.  “We got the flowers together.”

“Did you drive in from the city?” Jesse asked.

“Nope,” Danny said, popping the ‘P’.  “My parents and I just moved back!  I’m here to stay.  The timing worked out really great though, huh?”

“Really?” Sarina said, surprised.  “I…  Wow.  That’s a shock.  Are all fifty of your brothers coming back too?”

Danny rolled his eyes.  “Ha, ha.  Very funny.  No, only Russell might be coming back.  The others are all doing school and work and stuff.  Angelo is engaged now and wedding planning, Josh and Nate are still in school, and Gabe dropped out and got this post office job.”

“Is Josh still doing that engineering course?” Peter asked.

“Yeah,” Danny said.  “He’s loving it but at this rate he’ll be in school forever.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re back,” Sarina said.  “You’re a jerk but, you know, you can hang out with me, Monique, and Jolie.  Sometimes Kyle and Eric hang out with us too.  Those two are losers but, you know…  We can do all kinds of stuff together!  It’ll be great!”

Danny started to smile but for some reason hesitated.  His lips twitched up then stopped.

“Maybe,” he said.

Jesse thought it was weird.  Danny might have been older than Sarina but when they were younger, he’d been pretty taken with her and eager to get up to no good.  Danny was everyone’s friend but if anyone was his best friend, it was Sarina.

Then again, it had been a really long time since they’d all gotten together.

“Maybe?” Sarina repeated, taken aback.  Then she scoffed.  “Oh, I get it.  You’re a big city guy now, too cool to hang out with us rural kids.  You grew up to be a snob like Peter.”

“I’m not a snob,” Peter said, wrinkling his nose at the suggestion.

“Yeah, and neither am I,” Danny said.  He hesitated again.  “It’s just…  When my parents and I were moving in…”

“Is that Noa?” Celeste interrupted him.

They all turned to look.

Celeste was right, it was definitely Noa.  He was sitting in the back seat of the Murphys’ car, legs hanging out of the open door.  He was leaning out, elbows on his knees, head bowed.  He looked like he was going to be sick.

They watched as Travis walked over to him from his truck, cigarette still tucked between his lips.  He said something to Noa but there was no reaction or response.

“We left the car going with AC,” Peter said.  “I was going to check on him soon.”

“Is Noa still…?” Sarina began and then shrugged in obvious discomfort, “…you know…”

“He’s as quiet as ever.  He still likes to hide in his room, but he comes down sometimes,” Peter said, trying to sound casual about it.  There was a note of concern in his voice.  “He's still into music and video games.  And he hasn’t stopped drawing…”

“He still won’t come over to see Amber?” Celeste asked, gesturing to the grave.

“Not willingly,” Peter said.

“He looks like a zombie,” Sarina said, grimacing.

Jesse did his best to study Noa from a distance.  Noa had to be…what – seventeen now, maybe?  But he was so small and scrawny.  With his head hanging down like that, he looked miserable and half-dead.

“I’m going to go talk to him,” Danny said.

“What?” Sarina said, turning to him sharply.

“You can try,” Peter said, “but don’t expect him to respond.”

“It’s fine.  I want to say hi to Travis anyway.  Gotta ask him how he puts up with Sarina,” Danny said, flashing them a smile.  “I’ll be back.”

“I’ll come with you,” Jesse found himself saying.

It had been a while since he’d seen Noa face to face.  They hadn’t talked since before Amber passed away and this was the only day of the year Jesse was likely to see him.

No one else offered to go, so Jesse and Danny walked through the grass, heading for the cars together.

“I feel like I’ve been gone too long,” Danny said.  “Everything’s changed.”

“Not everything,” Jesse said.  “But there have been a lot of changes, yes.”

“Semantics,” Danny groaned.  “Yeah, I know.  I just feel out of the loop.  I had the weirdest day yesterday when we were moving in.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  I saw Rion.”

Jesse tripped over his own feet.  Danny caught him by the arm.

“You good?” Danny asked.

“Yeah.  Fine.  I…I was surprised,” Jesse said, feeling a strange mixture of emotion fluttering in his chest.  “You saw Rion?”

“Yeah,” Danny said, glancing away.  He looked uncomfortable.  “He helped us move some stuff into the house.  It was almost normal, but…  He had a black eye.  He said Sarina gave it to him and that I should stay away from him and then…”

“Then?” Jesse asked, making sure to go slow.  He didn’t want Noa to hear them talking about this.

“Rion said…  He said he cut up his friendship bracelet and threw it away.”

Danny looked upset as he said it and Jesse couldn’t help the uncomfortable flip his own stomach did.  He remembered when Rion told him the same thing, back when they had confronted him about it.  Sarina had told everyone and Rion never even tried to hide it.

Jesse felt the weight of his own bracelet.  It was a light weave of blue and green with gold threads woven in.  When Amber made it for him, she winked and told him his bracelet wasn’t a friendship bracelet but a promise bracelet.  The thought used to get him flustered and embarrassed.  Now it left behind a sad, empty feeling that persisted whenever he thought about it.

“Rion told me that too,” Jesse said.

“I don’t believe him.”

“What?” Jesse said, taken aback.

Danny looked up at him.  “Rion wouldn’t do something like that.  It’s not who he is.  The more I think about it, the less sense it makes.  The guy is, like, a hoarder when it comes to that sort of stuff.  He collected every ticket stub when we went to shows, and he would ask for pictures of special events, and...  Don’t you remember how he begged to have that stupid bow off the stage from his fifth grade Christmas play?  He’d never cut up his friendship bracelet and throw it away.”

When Danny put it like that…yeah, it didn’t make sense.  The Rion that Jesse remembered from childhood was a sweet, earnest kid.

But Rion became a different person after Amber died.  It was a change that happened almost overnight.  He was cold, indifferent, without compassion for anyone or anything.

“He doesn’t have a reason to lie,” Jesse said.  “Why would he say that?  Just to hurt us?”

“I don’t know…” Danny said, frowning.  “But it doesn’t make sense.  It isn’t right.”

They reached the cars and dropped the subject.  Travis gave them a small wave as they walked up.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi, Travis,” Danny said, his smile coming back.

“Sarina said you almost got caught with pot on the way here,” Jesse said.

“Of course she was telling you about that,” Travis groaned.  “We were pulled over for speeding.  The sign said 50 and I was going 60 – not even a big deal.  There wasn’t anyone on the road for miles.”

Danny let out a snort of amusement.  “Sounds like you got lucky.”

“Whatever,” Travis said, taking a long drag of his cigarette.  “Shitty cops have nothing better to do out here.  Probably just looking for someone to talk to.”

Danny stepped closer.  Noa was still sitting there, head down.  He hadn’t reacted to them at all.

Noa stood out in Misty Meadows since the day he moved to town.  His features were distinctly Asian; straight, pitch-black hair, dark eyes, a small build, and pale skin.  But Noa was too pale now, a sickly shade of white.  Despite the weather, he was wearing a hoody that he was drowning in, only the tips of his fingers poking out of the sleeves.

“Hey, Noa,” Danny said.  “I came over to say hi.  I’m moving back to town.  Pretty neat, huh?  It’s good to see you again.”

Nothing.  Not even a twitch.  Noa didn’t move.

Travis shook his head.  “It’s no good.  He’s probably off in la-la land.”

“Why’d he open the car door then?” Danny said and stepped closed.  “Hey, Noa?  Can you hear me?  Hello?”

Still nothing.

“Told you,” Travis said, taking another drag from his smoke.  It was almost gone.  “He’s probably all drugged up or whatever.  He was on some kind of antidepressant stuff, according to the rumours.”

“What do the Murphys say?” Danny asked.

“Don’t know,” Travis said with a shrug.  “All I know is that Noa either doesn’t want to talk or else he’s so high on meds or whatever that he can’t think straight.  Who knows?”

“Noa?” Danny tried again.

He reached out, touching Noa’s shoulder and, finally, he got a reaction.  Noa pulled away, retreating into the car.  He laid down on the back seat, curling on his side.

“See?” Travis said, taking a final drag of his cigarette.  He dropped it to the ground and crushed it under his heel into the gravel.  “Noa’s not home.”

“Damn,” Danny said, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Yeah,” Travis agreed.  “Can’t help feeling for him.”

Jesse was aware that Noa shut down after Amber’s death but seeing it was something else.  Amber might have been Noa’s cousin, but he lived with the Murphys so she was more like an older sister to him.  Combined with the fact that he was there when she died…

It made sense.  But it was still so hard to see Noa like this.  Jesse wished there was something he could do to help.

Danny was quiet.  It looked like he was searching for something to say.  Travis, meanwhile, pulled out his pack of cigarettes, fiddling with it.

“Those aren’t good for you,” Jesse said, gesturing to the smokes.

“Don’t care,” Travis said, but he didn’t take one out.  Instead, he continued to fidget with the pack, sighing.  “You know, I’m all for this annual little gathering but it’s awkward as fuck.  I liked Amber.  She was cool.  But I didn’t know her well enough to bring her flowers and…all of that.”

He waved to the others who were all hanging around Amber’s grave, talking.

“That’s fine,” Jesse said.  “You’re here.  I know Amber would've appreciated it.”

“You’re coming for coffee after, right?” Danny finally said, giving up on Noa for now.  “Celeste told me everyone goes for a drink down at the hotel once we’ve seen Amber.”

“Yeah, that’s more my style,” Travis said.  “After that, I’m heading home, though.  And if Sarina has other plans, she’s going to have to walk wherever she’s going.”

“Fair,” Danny said but smiled.  “I can’t believe you still drive her around.”

“Only sometimes,” Travis said.  “I let her borrow the truck now and again.  It’s a pain in the ass.  We need another car.”

“Saving up for one?” Danny asked.

“As if!  Saving to move out.  The truck is mine.  Sarina’s the one who needs to buy herself a car.  Besides, I’m not working right now.”

“Aaaaaah, so that explains why you’re her ride.  She’s paying for the gas right now, isn’t she.  I think Celeste said she was working part time this summer at her family’s greenhouse…”

“Yeah, sure, she pays for gas sometimes.  When I can’t throw the money together.”

Danny raised his eyebrows.  “I thought you said you don’t have a job.”

“I have my ways,” Travis told him smugly.  “I have stuff going on; plans within plans.  I’m not staying in this dump forever.”

“It’s not so bad,” Jesse said.  “The people are all right.”

“Only half of them are decent, at best,” Travis scoffed.  “The rest are too nosy for their own good or have their heads stuck up their own asses.”

“Actually, speaking of people,” Danny began, “Travis, have you seen Rion recently?”

Jesse tensed.  He wasn’t the only one to react.  Noa made a small movement from the backseat of the car and Travis glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck.

Jesse hadn’t expected Danny to bring that up.  Especially in front of Noa.

“I’m steering clear of that whole situation,” Travis said.

“Really?  Why?” Danny said.  “I’m trying to figure out what’s up with him and why things are so…  I mean, I saw him yesterday.  He helped me and my parents unload stuff and move in.  He told me upfront about the friendship bracelet.  But…  I don’t know.  It’s even weird that he’s not here right now, today, with the rest of us.”

“He doesn’t ever come here,” Jesse said, unable to stop the bitterness from creeping into his voice.  “Even if we tried to include him, he would refuse.  Danny, it’s…”

“The whole situation is fucked up,” Travis said.  “Rion…  He does his own thing.  And the way things are between him and Sarina…  Yeah, it’s crazy.”

“But all this over Rion cutting up his friendship bracelet?” Danny said and quickly raised his hands.  “I mean, I get it.  I do.  I know that it’s…  I mean, it’s really upsetting.  But it doesn’t add up.  It seems…  I want to understand it.  I came back and now everything’s different.”

“What are you talking about?”

They jolted in surprise, turning to Noa.  He had spoken up, his voice rough from disuse.  He was sitting up in the backseat, looking at them with dark eyes, brows knit into a frown.

Noa looked more alert than Jesse had seen in years.

“Noa!  Hi!” Danny said right away.  “Finally ready to talk?”

“You said something about Rion?” Noa asked.

It was a shock to hear Noa speak but it was more of a surprise that he was following their conversation.  Jesse honestly hadn’t thought that Noa was aware of what was happening around him.

“Yeah, we were!” Danny said, looking happy to be talking to Noa at all.  “Rion said it’s been a while since the two of you saw each other.  Is that true?  I thought you were best friends.”

Noa glanced away, eyes darting about.  He looked like he was lost in thought or maybe trying to carefully select what he wanted to say next.

Yes, he was much more alert than Jesse thought.  No question.

“You said Rion cut up his friendship bracelet,” Noa said.

“Yeah, that’s what he told me,” Danny confirmed.  “I mean, I’m not sure I believe it.  It seems weird, right?”

“Danny, we all saw the bracelet,” Jesse said.  He couldn’t stay quiet.  “Sarina showed it to us, and Rion admitted that he did it.  There really isn’t any way to deny it…”

“Then there must be a reason for it,” Danny said.  “You can’t really think Rion would do that.  You know him.”

“I knew him,” Jesse corrected Danny.  “He’s not the same person anymore.”

Jesse could still remember the confrontation they’d had.  Rion had casually admitted to Sarina’s angry accusations, shrugged like it didn’t even matter.

“Yeah.  Sure.  That was me.  I did it,” Rion had said, indifferent.  “So what?”

The memory still stung.  Jesse avoided Rion for a long while after that.  Even now, he avoided him when he could.

“You’re wrong.”

Noa had spoken up again.  He was looking down, expression pinched.

“Who’s wrong?  About what?” Danny said.

Noa looked up.  He half-opened his mouth to reply, but then he glanced over Danny’s shoulder.  Whatever he saw made him look back down.  His expression closed off again.

“Noa?”

Peter was the one to call out.  He had walked over, the expression on his face one of cautious optimism.  Glancing back, Jesse realized the others were watching them.

“Noa?” Peter tried again and then glanced between Jesse, Danny, and Travis.  “Were the four of you having a conversation?”

“Yeah,” Danny said.  “We were talking about Rion.  I ran into him the other day.”

Peter’s expression darkened at the mention of Rion’s name.

“Really?  Him?” Peter said.  “What a waste of breath.  There must be better things to talk about.”

Abruptly, Noa pushed himself out of the car, startling them.  He brushed past them, somewhat unsteady on his feet.  Then he started walking.

“Noa?” Peter called after him.  “Where are you going?”

Noa didn’t answer him.  In fact, he blatantly ignored his cousin.

“Noa,” Jesse tried, moving to follow him.  “Hey.  What’s up?”

“Walking,” Noa answered simply, not looking back.

“We’ll come with you,” Danny said, hurrying to catch up to him.  “It’ll be good to get some air.  Right?”

Noa said nothing, trudging determinedly ahead along the shoulder of the road.