The drive from Starpoint City to the town of Misty Meadows was an hour long. To Noa, it felt like they’d been on the road the entire day.

Uncle Charlie talked to him for a while. When Noa didn’t respond, he ran out of things to say and turned the radio on, keeping the volume down. It was only a small relief and Noa found himself leaning into the car door, watching fields fly by the window. He locked his gaze on the power lines and watched as they appeared to dip and rise again like waves.

Noa hadn’t seen the Murphy family in years. He had a memory of playing with his cousins before his mother and Aunt Elaine started fighting, screaming at each other about something. His father had come, scooped him up in his arms, and they’d all piled in the car and went home in a furious rush.

Of course, his aunt and uncle had come to see him in the hospital before picking him up today. Noa had seen them a few times and they’d talked. His other aunt had visited too, his father’s sister, Keiko. Noa hadn’t seen her since he was five. He didn’t feel like he knew her any better than the Murphys.

It scared him.

He wanted his parents, his father. He wanted someone familiar. He didn’t like being with these people who were almost strangers. It didn’t help that Noa barely had any of his things with him. He had a suitcase of clothes and a few toys from home but nothing else.

The whole situation made Noa tense and nauseous. Or maybe it was the medicine they’d given him before he left the hospital. He only took it because the grown ups said it would make his fractured rib hurt less. He thought it might be working but he still felt sick. Wasn’t the medicine supposed to make him feel better?

It was the kind of sick he felt when he was nervous. It was the feeling he had whenever his parents yelled and hit each other. His hands felt hot and his chest was tight. He hated it and it wouldn’t go away.

“There’s Misty Meadows, Noa,” Uncle Charlie finally spoke up. “We’re almost home.”

The statement made Noa feel worse. Home… This wasn’t home. Still, he lifted his head, facing forward as they made a turn, a big wooden sign welcoming them to town.

Noa grew up in the city. He was used to being surrounded by buildings and cement. Out here, the fields and prairie parted for a town to sprout up between everything. The main roads were paved but some of the side roads they passed were gravel. The sidewalks all looked small and cracked. Everything seemed old and weathered to Noa.

There were a few taller buildings – Noa could spot the church and the hospital right away – but there was a hill, making it hard to see the whole town when you first drove in. As they came over the hill, Noa spotted the school. It was long and flat, with a small, worn playground, and a big field with a baseball diamond next to it. There wasn’t a fence around anything, all of it open with a line of bushes around one side of the grounds.

Noa turned his eyes away from it. He didn’t want to think about school. People called him weird in the city and he’d always been alone. He didn’t think that would change in Misty Meadows, but… He was going to be the new kid. And he hated the idea of having attention on him.

He wanted to disappear.

Uncle Charlie drove the car up to a house on the end of a street, surrounded by a whole thicket of trees. As the car pulled into the driveway, Noa saw a flash of something in the front window of the house. His uncle got out of the car as the front door swung open and his aunt and cousins came out to greet them.

Noa sank low in his seat. He didn’t want to leave the car and face them. He wasn’t given much of a choice when his aunt came over, opening his door for him.

“Hi, Noa,” she greeted him warmly. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Noa didn’t look up at her. He kept his eyes down as he answered with a quiet, “Hello.”

“I think he’s still feeling the meds,” Noa could hear Uncle Charlie saying. “Seemed like he was dozing off on the ride here, not that I blame him. It’s a bit of a drive.”

“A little extra rest never hurt,” Aunt Elaine said.

“Hi, Noa!” came a cheerful greeting from Amber.

Noa briefly glanced up at Amber and Peter who had come to stand next to the car with Aunt Elaine. Amber was smiling widely, dark hair pulled back into braided pigtails. She waved at him. Peter was a little more reserved, but he was also smiling and bright eyed.

“Hey, Noa,” Peter added.

Noa looked down again. He wished he could slide out of his seat to the floor of the car and curl up into a ball.

“Do you need help getting out of the car?” Aunt Elaine asked.

Noa shook his head. He undid his seatbelt and slid it flat against the seat while trying to avoid turning and hurting his side. It was hard to do but he didn’t want the seatbelt to get twisted up. His mother always hated when that happened.

Noa was also stalling.

He slid out of the car. He could stand but it made him woozy. He blinked a few times, trying to steady himself.

“How are you feeling?” his aunt asked him. “Are you hungry or thirsty? You should maybe come inside and sit.”

Noa shrugged. He had no idea what he wanted but he didn’t think eating or sitting would make much difference.

“Dad, can I help with Noa’s luggage?” he heard Amber ask.

“Thanks sweetie, but it’s okay. I got it,” Uncle Charlie said.

“There’s only one suitcase?”

“Yep.”

“What about Noa’s stuff?” Peter asked. “That can’t be everything.”

“Don’t worry about it,” his uncle said. “I’m just going to take this up to Noa’s room… Hey, Noa? Did you want to sit for a while, get the tour, or maybe see your room?”

That was too many options. Noa didn’t know what to say or how to answer. He was still looking down, studying his aunt’s flip-flops.

Aunt Elaine had done her toenails in pink nail polish. He’d never seen his mother do that before. She only painted her fingernails. She liked a sparkly red colour and she would always repaint it when it got chipped. It had to look perfect…

Thinking about nail polish was a distraction from answering his uncle’s question. He couldn’t decide. He didn’t want to. He would for sure pick the wrong thing and end up in trouble. Noa was stupid like that.

“Why don’t you come up to see your room,” his aunt suggested, narrowing things down for him. “Is that okay?”

He nodded, grateful the decision was being made for him. They went into the house together. Noa’s aunt guided him with a hand on his shoulder.

Amber and Peter were barefoot and went into the house ahead of them, springing up the steps after Uncle Charlie, who had kicked off his shoes in the entrance. Aunt Elaine stepped out of her flip flops too as she headed in. The shoes were all just a messy pile in the entrance.

Noa wasn’t used to things being so unorganized. He would get in trouble for leaving his things like that at home. It made him hesitate as he stepped out of his own shoes.

Noa was afraid to bend over because of how it would make his rib ache. That made it a little tricky and he had to step on the heels of his shoes to get out of them. He used his feet to shuffle his shoes to the side, lining them up next to each other neatly.

“Your room is up this way,” Aunt Elaine said, “just upstairs here.”

Noa snuck a peek at the entranceway. The house seemed warm and cozy, the floors hardwood. A hesitant glance up the staircase caused unease to blossom in his chest.

Back home, his room was upstairs.

The bathroom had been upstairs too.

Noa’s last memories of home were of the flooded bathroom floor, everything cold and wet, and his father–

He focused on the steps, refusing to think about it. These stairs were different, the whole house was different, but it made him nervous anyway. That anxious feeling weighed heavily on him, tingling in his limbs like an itch beneath his skin.

Amber was at the top of the stairs. She was all smiles. He didn’t understand her excitement. Noa met her gaze briefly but then looked down at the steps as he started to go up.

“You guys are coming, right?” Amber said.

“There’s no rush,” Aunt Elaine said.

“I want to show Noa my room once he’s seen his,” Amber said.

“I want to show him my room too!” Peter said from somewhere behind her.

“He’ll get to see the whole house. Let him take his time,” Aunt Elaine said, a smile in her voice. “He just got here. Don’t put too much pressure on him.”

Noa wasn’t sure what he expected the upstairs to be like. The first thing he saw in the hall was carpet and that was already different. They passed a bathroom near the steps and Noa was more than relieved to see there was a shower instead of a bathtub when he snuck a fleeting glance through the door. There were four other rooms down the hall past that, all of them bedrooms. Noa’s was closest to the stairs.

“We thought about decorating but we didn’t know what you liked,” Uncle Charlie said when Noa stepped into his room. His suitcase had already been placed next to the bed. “We found you a desk and a bookshelf. We’ll have to fill that up for you.”

Noa risked raising his gaze for a better look around the room. It was less cramped than his old room. The view out the window was better too, facing out towards the sunny backyard. There was a bed, dresser, and the bookshelf and desk that were mentioned. It was nice but it didn’t really feel like it was Noa’s. He felt like he was moving into a guest room.

“What do you think?” his aunt asked.

Noa glanced her way before looking down again. “It’s very nice, Aunt Elaine.”

“I’m glad you think so,” she said.

“We’ll add to it so that it’s not so empty in here,” Uncle Charlie said. “We can decorate it however you want.”

Noa nodded, so that they knew he was listening. He didn’t need to decorate and he didn’t care if it was empty.

“There’s a lake not far from here,” his aunt said. “We have a cabin that we go to on the odd weekend. You’ll have that to look forward to.”

“We’ve set you up for school too,” his uncle added. “There’s going to be a lot going on for a while. Just let us know if it’s getting to be too much.”

It was already too much. Noa didn’t know what to do or say. Nothing was familiar and there were too many people and too much to think about.

“Can we show Noa the rest of the house now?” Amber asked from the door. “I want to give him the tour.”

“Maybe,” his uncle said. “What do you think, Noa?”

Noa wanted to say no. Could he say no? Was that allowed? Would they get mad? But he really didn’t want to wander around the house with his cousins.

“…Or maybe you’d rather unpack and get settled?” his aunt asked.

That was a much more tempting offer. Noa nodded.

“Aw, but why?” Peter said. “Unpacking is boring.”

“Tell you what,” Uncle Charlie said, heading for the door. Noa ducked away from him as he passed. “Why don’t we let Mom help Noa unpack and while they do that, we make some supper?”

“But that’s boring too!”

“We’ll make it fun! And if you help, I’ll let you have an extra hour on the Nintendo tonight.”

“Oh, okay! Let’s go, then!”

Amber laughed. “You’re so easy to bribe, Peter.”

Peter’s protests grew distant as he left with Amber and Uncle Charlie, heading downstairs. Noa was left alone with Aunt Elaine.

He stared at his suitcase. Taking out what little he had should have been easy, but for some reason he didn’t know where to start. It felt wrong to unpack. It felt wrong to get comfortable in a room that wasn’t his.

“You can sit and rest,” Aunt Elaine offered, coming around. “I can put things away for you.”

He was happy that she told him what to do, but he still couldn’t bring himself to move. Aunt Elaine didn’t wait for him, going for the suitcase and opening it up. It was full of clothes and not much else so it was easy for her to start transferring things to the dresser.

Noa didn’t want to get in trouble for standing there so he quickly moved to help.

“No, no. You shouldn’t be lifting anything,” his aunt was quick to say. “Even if it’s just clothes. You could hurt yourself. I can put your things away. Just tell me where you want them.”

“…Okay,” Noa said.

He felt guilty and bad for making her put away his things. Reluctantly, he sat on the edge of the bed while his aunt unloaded his suitcase.

“Do you have some toys with you?” Aunt Elaine asked. “I’m not seeing too much in here…”

“I don’t know,” Noa said.

“Hm… Maybe we can see about getting more of your things. I’ll try to track down what I can for you. With everything that happened… I mean, I’m sure that your things are being kept somewhere.”

Noa could see the tension in Aunt Elaine. Without looking at her face, he could tell that she was upset. Her hands gripped a stack of his shirts just a little too long and a little too tight. His mother always did that when she was mad, grabbing things tight and squeezing...

Noa shied away from his aunt, turning away.

“Noa?”

He hesitated, not wanting to face her, but finally forced himself to glance up at Aunt Elaine. He didn’t expect the soft, almost concerned look she was giving him.

“I know that this is a really big change for you,” she said. “But I want you to know that…that we want you here. We’re happy to have you stay with us. You’re safe here and you can tell Uncle Charlie and me anything. Okay?”

“Okay,” he said automatically because he knew he was supposed to agree.

His aunt sounded sincere, but he didn’t believe her.

“Can I talk to you about something?” Aunt Elaine said.

Noa nodded.

His aunt pushed aside the now empty suitcase and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. She took a breath, turning to him.

“Your mom and I, when we were young, we grew up a bit like you did,” Aunt Elaine said. “Our father, your grandfather… He wasn’t a good person. He would yell a lot and throw things…sometimes he would hurt people too. He did bad things…”

She paused, hesitating. Noa bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't want to hear this. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to know what his aunt had been through or remember his own situation.

His mother was dead and his father was going to jail and he had to live here now.

“I know that it’s hard,” Aunt Elaine said. “I just wanted you to know that… I can’t understand what you’ve been through, but I can empathize with you, just a little. None of this is your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong and what happened was a terrible thing.”

“Okay.”

The word came out of Noa, cold and dismissive. He hated that he said it but fortunately, it didn’t seem to bother his aunt. She gave him a small smile.

“Okay,” she said to him. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you. We’re going to take you to see a psychiatrist too, all right? But we can talk about it later. We’ll do everything one step at a time and if you feel overwhelmed, just let us know.”

“Okay,” Noa said again.

He didn’t know what to think about the things she was telling him. A psychiatrist? Why? He didn’t get it. He wasn’t crazy, was he? Crazy people went to see psychiatrists, right?

“Thank you, Noa,” she said. “I love you. Can I get a hug?”

She spread her arms a little and Noa stared at her. He understood the gesture but he couldn’t remember when someone last tried to hug him. He wasn’t sure if it had been that long ago or if his memory was fuzzy from almost having drowned and all the medication he’d had during his stay in the hospital.

Noa shook his head.

“O-okay,” his aunt said, faltering. She put her arms down. “I understand. I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

“Okay,” Noa said.

His aunt let out a breath and they sat for a moment in awkward silence.

“So…” Aunt Elaine finally began again, “is there anything you want or need? I don’t know how long it will take for us to get your things back. Is there anything you like to do or play with?”

“I like drawing,” Noa said.

“We’ll get you art supplies,” his aunt said. “Is there anything else?”

“Colouring…painting…” Noa said, thinking about it. “I like…um…music too. And folding paper into things… Origami.”

“Origami! I know how to make the little paper cranes,” Aunt Elaine said. “Is there anything else you’d like? Any toys? Do you like cars or dinosaurs…? Anything like that?”

“Dinosaurs are cool,” Noa said.

“And how about video games? Peter is really into those.”

“I’m not good at them…”

“We have a Super Nintendo and a Game Boy. I’m sure Peter would love to show them to you. He was really excited to have you move in so I’m sure he’d be happy to play with you. But you’ll have to take turns with Peter and Amber.”

“Okay.”

“Is there anything else you want?” Aunt Elaine asked. “Anything else you can think of?”

Noa knew he had things back at home but thinking about it made him miserable. More than missing his things, he missed his parents. Even if it wasn’t always good at home, even if his parents’ fights were scary, if his parents were scary, he wished things were the same. He hated that he was here, not knowing what was going to happen and hearing awful things about his father…

“I want to go home,” Noa whispered.

“Oh, Noa… I’m so sorry,” Aunt Elaine said. “You can’t… We can’t do that…”

Noa closed his eyes, shutting them tight. He knew that. He knew. It wasn’t a secret. He wasn’t that stupid.

He didn’t mean to say it. He knew it was impossible. He knew he couldn’t go home and that even if he did, nothing would be the same. But he wished it could be. He wanted things to be familiar again, more than anything.

His eyes were stinging. He didn’t want his aunt to see him cry but there was nothing he could do to stop. He hid his face in his hands, trying to curl inward.  It made his side ache.

“I’m so sorry,” his aunt said.

He felt her hand lightly touch his shoulder. Her words, her touch, everything about her made him hurt a thousand times more, like needles stabbing at his heart, and he failed to stop a distressed whine from escaping his throat. He was embarrassed, mortified at being seen like this.

“I know it’s really hard,” Aunt Elaine said, still trying to soothe him. “It’s normal to be upset. I know that this is really scary for you. What happened was wrong. It was a terrible thing. It’s not okay.”

She was right, it wasn’t okay, and it was an unexpected, overwhelming relief to hear it.

It almost hurt in a good way, like someone was finally, finally telling him the truth. He’d already had people tell him things were going to be okay, that it would get better – hospital staff and some of the other people who had seen him, Aunt Keiko – and he hadn’t realized how much he hated hearing it.

It wasn’t okay and he didn’t want to be told that it was going to get better. Everything was terrible right now. It didn’t matter if things got better eventually. Noa was hurting nowand the promise of what he might feel eventually was meaningless and hollow. It made him frustrated and angry and…

He broke down completely, sobbing into his hands. Aunt Elaine pulled him into a gentle hug, soothing him, running hands through his hair. He hated being seen like this but he was too upset to hide or resist. Instead, he leaned into his aunt and her warmth.

Somehow, even though everything was terrible, being held by his aunt made him feel safer than he had in a long time.